Monday, March 21, 2016

Keys to Healthy and Loving Family Relationships: Session 5, Passing on Family Traditions

Happy and healthy family relationships grow from decisions to work through all the problems of life in a constructive and loving way.  The materials provided here may be used to guide discussion and considerations for a 50-60 minute parenting class to help parents grow into strong, supportive and loving mentors for their children.

BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED! 1.
Shared quality time is the soil out of which good families grow.  Loving relationships in family require time and commitment.
The support stem of the family flower is a love of God, prayer, devotions and worship.
The leaves and petals of the flower are the sharing times together:  Birthdays, Celebrations, :Holidays, Vacations, Picnics, Anniversaries, Recreation, Rituals, Traditions, Reunions, Hospitality, Mealtime, and Eating out together.

Loving Relationships Require Time 
It is essential that family members reserve time for one another if loving relationships are to be nourished.
It takes time to get acquainted with the thoughts and feelings of other members of the family.
The greatest destroyers of loving family relationships are over commitment and time pressures.
Being over committed with too many irons stresses feelings of caring and concern for one another.

Most families do not spend much time together listening to each other.
Most families do not spend much time together.

Each family would benefit from a weekly time together spent on and in quality projects/events/times that enrich, deepen, and bring joy to family living.   

FAMILY TRADITION -THIS IS THE WAY WE ALWAYS DO IT! 2.
Parents know that having established ways of doing things helps to simplify things.  Children want to know what to expect.  They enjoy repetition and like to look forward to the same story again and again, the same food, the same video.

Kids and adults like family traditions that develop a sense of togetherness and a sense of family relationship and meaning.

Special traditions may include:
* Reading a storybook before bedtime,
* Making pizza every Saturday night,
* Having a prayer before each meal,
* Remembering birthdays with a cake and a song.

Special activities can make holidays important for the family, such as:
* Having the extended family gather on Thanksgiving for a shared meal,
* Gathering with family and friends to make Tamales at Christmastime, or
* Having hot chocolate and popcorn as you decorate the tree together.

What traditions are important to your family?

A good tradition should include simple activities that focus on the value of the people involved.
Include children in the planning.  They may have ideas about special things they want to celebrate together.

A good tradition should be enjoyed.  This takes planning in advance to consider what is needed to make it happen in a positive way.

Taking photos or keeping scrapbooks of special family occasions can preserve shared memories of family celebrations.  Traditions make family life richer because of celebrating family experiences together.

THE MAGIC OF THE FAMILY MEAL! 3.
The Statistics are clear: kids who dine with their parents are healthier, happier and better students, which is why a dying tradition is coming. back.

There is something about a shared meal, not just at holidays, but on a regular basis that anchors a family together.  This is a time when the family members share wisdom and expectations, confess and forgive, and form  relationships with each other.
Eating a meal together teaches children to be a part of a group and a member of their culture.  When eating together is started young, it becomes a habit and a discipline that provides structure and good eating habits.

Keeping mealtime as pleasant as possible can be a challenge,  but developing positive habits early leads to a healthier life.
Studies show that the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, fall into destructive behaviors, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables and carry on a conversation.

While it may be difficult if parents are working and children are shuttling between school activities and TV shows, it's worth some inconvenience or compromise to make eating meals together a priority.
Including children in the meal preparation by setting a table, helping prepare some foods, and helping to clear off the table can give them a sense of importance in the family.

Mealtime should be a time when TV and other distracting electronic gadgets are turned off.
Beginning the meal with a blessing of thanksgiving can help children and the whole family grow together in appreciation for God's care and for each other.

FAMILY REUNION - FUN, GAMES AND MEMORIES OF THE GRAND OLD TIMES. 4.
Keeping in touch with far-flung members of a family requires planning family reunions so children and parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins can come together to share the important activities in their lives.
Family reunions are a time for meals together, playing games together, sharing memories of good times and passing on family traditions that are special.

A reunion can consist of an afternoon picnic, a weekend retreat, or a week camping together in a park.  Family reunions become events to look forward to.

Tips for organizing a successful family gathering include:
*  Plan ahead.  Set the date, even a year ahead, for family who have to travel.
*  Share the work.  A lot of planning is required.  Cook cooperatively.
*  Take it easy.  Plan time to do nothing and share each other's company.
*  Keep a record.  Take lots of pictures and keep a scrapbook of events.

WHAT FAMILY RECORDS SHOULD YOU KEEP?
It's important to have a record-keeping system that allows you to quickly put your hand on documents you might need.  Organize them into file folders.
*  Personal and family records:  Social security cards, Addresses and Phone numbers; Birth and marriage certificates, School diplomas, Report cards, Family history and Photographs.
*  Property documents:  Deed of house, condo, car ownership; Receipts of payments made on house, car or other purchases; Warranties of purchases.
*  Financial Records: Investment records; including IRA's, 401 K accounts, savings accounts, credit card records, loan papers.
*  Medical and Health Records: Immunizations, Doctor's names and phone numbers; dates of illnesses and surgeries, medicines used.
*  Tax Records:  Copy of tax reports submitted; Copy of personal checks written over the last 5-7 years.

LOVE IS THE FOUNDATION OF A HAPPY HOME.

Love is patient, is kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not rude, does not delight in evil, is not easily angered, is not proud, is not self-seeking, keeps no record of wrongs, rejoices with the truth.   1 Corinthians 13: 4-6

Instructing children early in the loving traditions of a religious and moral foundation that teaches positive behaviors and respect for all lays a foundation for a productive and happy life.    


References:
1.  Nutt, Grady.  Family Time: A Revolutionary Idea.  1976.
2. Suk, Letitia.  "This is the Way We Always Do It."  Focus on the Family. Nov. 2007:9.
3. Gibbs, Nancy.  "The Magic of the Family Meal."  Time. June 12, 2006:51-54.
4. Cegielski, Jennifer.  "A Grand Old Time."  Martha Stewart's Living.  June 2011:116-125.