The weeks before Christmas are a beautiful and magical time in our homes and communities. The rich and mellow carols of peace and goodwill echo in the streets, in the churches and over the media. Sharing, caring and giving are spread throughout the land.
However, in driving home the other day here in San Antonio, Texas I saw a large elaborate billboard that said, "Imagine No Religion". The billboard, promoted by the Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) out of Madison, WI, is being placed in cities across the country. The FFRF, an association of atheists and agnostics, was formed in 1978 to promote freethought and to keep state and church separate. 1.
It is impossible to 'imagine no religion'. All persons and groups develop meaning systems that guide their decisions and behaviors which they then pursue with religious fervor.
In 1933, The Humanist Manifesto, contending that spiritual reality, worship, and prayer were false hopes, outlined the blueprint of faith for what they outlined as religious humanism based on science. 2.
In 1966, Anton Szandor LaVey contended that "The Church of Satan will be the pivotal point for an acknowledged belief system of the 21st Century". 3.
These religious faith systems, without any challenge or criticism, have become deeply involved with the state.
Nazism, Stalinism and Maoism were certainly organized as religions.
IMAGINE NO GOD!
THE POWER OF GOD PROTECTS FROM THE POWER OF THE STATE
When FFRF asks us to 'Imagine no religion' they are in reality asking us to imagine that there is no God, no higher power, no spiritual reality, or moral authority to which we are accountable, no reality or rightness that exists beyond human ability to manipulate or manage.
The attempt to remove the concept of God from our society raises deep and legitimate fears related to individual integrity, freedom and survival.
Faith in spiritual reality and authority is the sole liberating force which can supply freedom and integrity to individuals. Rights endowed by the state can be retracted by the state. Rights endowed by a Creator are beyond manipulation.
POWER TO CONTROL
Power is the ability to compel the will and action of another through influence, physical force, or intimidation. To gain total control rulers must control the authority structure, the distribution of rewards and punishments, and the surveillance mechanisms of society.
Dictators who seek to gain total control must eliminate alternatives which are beyond their ability to manipulate.
Social moral authority
In a discussion of the sources of moral authority in a sociology class, I mentioned The Ten Commandments as basic to Judeo/Christian moral understanding. A Muslim student in class raised his hand to correct me, saying "The Ten Commandments are basic to Judeo/Christian/Islamic moral understanding".
In our society, The Ten Commandments, The Sermon on the Mount, and the Declaration of Independence have been accepted as directives, truths, and inalienable rights endowed by the Creator.
Religious humanism, as outlined in The Humanist Manifesto, declares that modern science makes unacceptable inalienable human values.
The removal of The Ten Commandments from the foundation of our court system seeks to remove from our society faith in a transcendent authority and higher source of moral rightness beyond the state.
The radio commentator Dennis Prager said, "I regard the demise of Christianity in America (as a) nightmare - and I say that as a believing, religious Jew... The battle is no longer Jew versus Christianity, but Jew and Christian versus secular nihilism." 4.
Social Control
Social power requires control over the rewards that motivate people to strive and the punishments that deter. The rewards most available to managerial distribution are money, status and prestige.
Transcendent religions, however, maintain that the most desirous rewards relate to spiritual integrity rather than the transient rewards of personal gain.
Persecution for righteousness sake is the refining fire of the soul and 'great is your reward in heaven'. Attempts at coercion, harassment and intimidation lose their power to destroy, oppress and compel.
Social Surveillance
Control requires surveillance. In a nation that trusts in the all-seeing eye of a just God, control is maintained by bringing individuals into awareness of the expected and appropriate spiritual and social behaviors. People are then expected to control their own behaviors in light of this knowledge. With the elimination of the concept of God new types of surveillance must be used to ensure compliance with appropriate social norms.
STEPS TOWARD TOTAL POWER
Total power is not power for the 'good of the people' but rather power to determine what the people shall perceive as their good. It is the power to define or rather redefine right and wrong.
Transcendent religions which remove this authority from would be dictators must be destroyed by them.
A series of steps is used to de-program a society from the concept of spiritual authority, reward, and surveillance.
The first step is toleration. The word is used not as respect for religious seeking and diversity, but rather is used to imply endurance.
The second step is ridicule in the form of sarcasm, cartoons, and mocking caricature.
The third step is oppression. This includes deliberate obstruction through such avenues as economic sanctions and exclusion from the roles of social status, prestige and responsibility.
The fourth step is persecution and consists of physical harassment and removal and destruction through brainwashing or death
The most necessary step, however, is control over the shaping process of the children. Total control must be gained over the process whereby people learn to assign legitimate authority, reward, and surveillance.
VULNERABLE TO OPPRESSION
With the removal of the concept of spiritual reality and rightness, individuals are left ultimately vulnerable to being controlled (and crushed) by the capricious distribution of rewards and punishment.
The courage to dissent, the courage to live authentically, the courage to stand alone for what you believe to be right can only be born of the assurance that the ultimate rewards of personal integrity will surpass the immediate punishment.
The society that is unable to grant inalienable value, liberty and integrity to individuals cannot be good for the people.
REFERENCES:
1. Freedom From Religion Foundation. 12/18/2008. http://www.ffrf.org.
2. Humanist Manifesto I. The New Humanist. Vol. VI. No.3 (May/June) 1933.
http://www.jcn.com/manifestos.html.
3. Bugbee,Shane and Amy Bugbee. "The Doctor is in...MF Magazine.No.3.1997.
http://www.churchofsatan.com/Pages/MFInterview.html.
4. Laconte, Joe."The battle to define America turns violent". Christianity Today. Vol. 37. No. 12 (Oct 25) 1993:76.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The New Morality Threatens Us All.
Fifty years ago Nikita Kruschev prophesied, "We will bury you". While this statement may be ambiguous, the direction our society has taken is not ambiguous. We have become willing accomplices in our own execution. We have dug our own graves.
LIBERATION NOW
In 1884, Friedrich Engels, the lifelong friend of Karl Marx and co-author of the Communist Manifesto, wrote a major citation of 'liberation' literature entitled "On the Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State". 1. This article outlined the blueprint for the liberation of men and women from binding family relationships and the 'oppression of monogamy'.
Engels saw two problems in the practice of lifelong, monogamous marriage. The first problem: after marriage a woman becomes the private property of her husband. Consequently unmarried men are able to find very few women willing to give themselves to them outside of prostitution. Engels contended that the exchange of sex love for money "degrades the character of the entire male world".
The second problem: marriage makes women the slave of their husbands. The husband earns and controls the economic base of the family, keeping the woman dependent upon him.
A NEW MORALITY
Engels proposed the solution to both of these problems by outlining a new morality and a new social order which involved:
* drawing "the entire female sex into public industry",
* making men and women equal "in rights and responsibilities",
* passing "the means of production into common property",
* abolishing the family as "the economic unit of society",
* transforming private housekeeping "into a social industry", and
* having society "take care of all children equally irrespective of whether they were born in wedlock or not".
SEX LOVE REPLACES COMMITTED FAMILY LOVE
Engels contended that this new social organization would give rise "to more unrestrained sexual intercourse, and along with it, a more lenient public opinion regarding virginal honour and feminine shame". The new moral standard for judging sexual intercourse would not be whether it is legitimate, but "whether it arose from mutual love or not."
From these changes will spring the new morality that Engels identified as Sex Love. "If only marriages that are based on love are moral, then also only those are moral in which love continues". Because "the urge of individual Sex Love differs," when affection is "displaced by a new passionate love", separation becomes a blessing.
Engels' new morality attacked and sought to overturn the behavioral and authority patterns of committed family practices. He outlined basic changes in social and personal interaction patterns and responsibilities.
OUR CULTURAL ORGANIZATIONS BOUGHT IT AND SOLD IT TO US.
In the last 50 years the mainstream media, liberal influences in the universities, and social legislation have replaced the foundation of family love with support for sex love.
When changes are made, some things of value may be gained but others are lost.
Can such ideas lead us to greater happiness, or will such disposable love lead us to the even greater oppression of our own passions?
CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES
# Before 1960, the expectation of marriage was to "love and cherish, till death us do part, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health".
In 1960, the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act outlined No-Fault divorce laws where fault was eliminated as a grounds for divorce. The first No-faultlaws were established in California in 1970, and within 10 years most of the other states followed. These laws removed power from the person wanting to remain married and gave it to the person wanting to leave a relationship.
The number of divorces in the United States rose rapidly, creating large numbers of single parent homes and emotional, financial, and structural problems for adults and children.
# Divorce accelerated the feminization of poverty. After divorce, the man's income generally rises, while the income of women and children falls, often drastically.
Children suffer in a divorce in many ways. Besides losing the nurturing presence of a parent, a study by the Census Bureau found that children could expect to become 37% poorer following the divorce of their parents. 2.
The effects of divorce on children often accumulate over time, getting worse instead of better. 3.
# Another troubling spinoff of divorce occurs when one parent, in violation of court orders, violates conditions of visitation or tries to remove a child from contact with the other parent. It is estimated that 350,000 parental abductions occur each year. The child is traumatized and the offending parent becomes a criminal. 4.
# Venereal disease has risen to epidemic proportions. Sex outside of committed, monogamous relationships has become normalized in our society, even among teens. In March of 2008, researchers at the federal Center for Disease Control announced that 1 in 4 teen girls has at least one sexually transmitted disease. The most common, the human papilloma virus, causes cervical cancer. The second most common, Chlamydia, can lead to infertility. 5.
The cumulative estimated deaths of persons with AIDS in the United States in 2005 was 530,307 persons. The first cases were reported in 1981 in the homosexual community. 77% of those affected with AIDS are male. Bisexual behaviors have transferred the disease to the heterosexual community. 6.
# In the wake of Roe v. Wade in 1973, more than 45 million abortions were performed in the United States by the year 2000. 80% of abortions are to unmarried women, and 52% are to women younger than 25 years of age. 7.
WHERE WILL THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR BEHAVIOR END?
As we consider the acceleration of our descent into destruction, it becomes evident that we must change if we are to regain control of our relationships and our society.
If we are unable to remove the blinders from our eyes and see beyond the Pollyana smiles that tell us all is well, if we are unable to regain our moral convictions, and more importantly, the courage of our convictions, we may discover that the prophecy of Kruschev becomes the prophecy of the poet T.S. Eliot, who predicted:
THIS IS THE WAY THE WORLD WILL END.
This is the Way the World Will End.
this is the way the world will end.
Not with a BANG, but with a whimper.
References
1. Engels, Friedrich. "The origin of the family, private property, and the state". In: The Marx-Engels Reader. Robert C. Tucher (ed.) NY:Norton. 1978 (1884) pgs. 743-751.
2. Boublin, Gina. "Study: Children lose more than just parents in divorce." Bryan/College Station Eagle (TX) March 2, 1991.
3. Wallerstein, Judith. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Study.
4. Child Abduction Statistics. The National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway, and Throwaway Children (NISMART). http://www.lostchildren.org/statistics.htm. Nov. 28, 2008.
5. The Associated Press. March 11, 2008. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23574940.
6. Center for Disease Control Statistics. July, 2006. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheet/print/msm.htm.
7. Center for Disease Control - Abortion Surveillance - U.S, 2000.
LIBERATION NOW
In 1884, Friedrich Engels, the lifelong friend of Karl Marx and co-author of the Communist Manifesto, wrote a major citation of 'liberation' literature entitled "On the Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State". 1. This article outlined the blueprint for the liberation of men and women from binding family relationships and the 'oppression of monogamy'.
Engels saw two problems in the practice of lifelong, monogamous marriage. The first problem: after marriage a woman becomes the private property of her husband. Consequently unmarried men are able to find very few women willing to give themselves to them outside of prostitution. Engels contended that the exchange of sex love for money "degrades the character of the entire male world".
The second problem: marriage makes women the slave of their husbands. The husband earns and controls the economic base of the family, keeping the woman dependent upon him.
A NEW MORALITY
Engels proposed the solution to both of these problems by outlining a new morality and a new social order which involved:
* drawing "the entire female sex into public industry",
* making men and women equal "in rights and responsibilities",
* passing "the means of production into common property",
* abolishing the family as "the economic unit of society",
* transforming private housekeeping "into a social industry", and
* having society "take care of all children equally irrespective of whether they were born in wedlock or not".
SEX LOVE REPLACES COMMITTED FAMILY LOVE
Engels contended that this new social organization would give rise "to more unrestrained sexual intercourse, and along with it, a more lenient public opinion regarding virginal honour and feminine shame". The new moral standard for judging sexual intercourse would not be whether it is legitimate, but "whether it arose from mutual love or not."
From these changes will spring the new morality that Engels identified as Sex Love. "If only marriages that are based on love are moral, then also only those are moral in which love continues". Because "the urge of individual Sex Love differs," when affection is "displaced by a new passionate love", separation becomes a blessing.
Engels' new morality attacked and sought to overturn the behavioral and authority patterns of committed family practices. He outlined basic changes in social and personal interaction patterns and responsibilities.
OUR CULTURAL ORGANIZATIONS BOUGHT IT AND SOLD IT TO US.
In the last 50 years the mainstream media, liberal influences in the universities, and social legislation have replaced the foundation of family love with support for sex love.
When changes are made, some things of value may be gained but others are lost.
Can such ideas lead us to greater happiness, or will such disposable love lead us to the even greater oppression of our own passions?
CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES
# Before 1960, the expectation of marriage was to "love and cherish, till death us do part, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health".
In 1960, the Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act outlined No-Fault divorce laws where fault was eliminated as a grounds for divorce. The first No-faultlaws were established in California in 1970, and within 10 years most of the other states followed. These laws removed power from the person wanting to remain married and gave it to the person wanting to leave a relationship.
The number of divorces in the United States rose rapidly, creating large numbers of single parent homes and emotional, financial, and structural problems for adults and children.
# Divorce accelerated the feminization of poverty. After divorce, the man's income generally rises, while the income of women and children falls, often drastically.
Children suffer in a divorce in many ways. Besides losing the nurturing presence of a parent, a study by the Census Bureau found that children could expect to become 37% poorer following the divorce of their parents. 2.
The effects of divorce on children often accumulate over time, getting worse instead of better. 3.
# Another troubling spinoff of divorce occurs when one parent, in violation of court orders, violates conditions of visitation or tries to remove a child from contact with the other parent. It is estimated that 350,000 parental abductions occur each year. The child is traumatized and the offending parent becomes a criminal. 4.
# Venereal disease has risen to epidemic proportions. Sex outside of committed, monogamous relationships has become normalized in our society, even among teens. In March of 2008, researchers at the federal Center for Disease Control announced that 1 in 4 teen girls has at least one sexually transmitted disease. The most common, the human papilloma virus, causes cervical cancer. The second most common, Chlamydia, can lead to infertility. 5.
The cumulative estimated deaths of persons with AIDS in the United States in 2005 was 530,307 persons. The first cases were reported in 1981 in the homosexual community. 77% of those affected with AIDS are male. Bisexual behaviors have transferred the disease to the heterosexual community. 6.
# In the wake of Roe v. Wade in 1973, more than 45 million abortions were performed in the United States by the year 2000. 80% of abortions are to unmarried women, and 52% are to women younger than 25 years of age. 7.
WHERE WILL THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR BEHAVIOR END?
As we consider the acceleration of our descent into destruction, it becomes evident that we must change if we are to regain control of our relationships and our society.
If we are unable to remove the blinders from our eyes and see beyond the Pollyana smiles that tell us all is well, if we are unable to regain our moral convictions, and more importantly, the courage of our convictions, we may discover that the prophecy of Kruschev becomes the prophecy of the poet T.S. Eliot, who predicted:
THIS IS THE WAY THE WORLD WILL END.
This is the Way the World Will End.
this is the way the world will end.
Not with a BANG, but with a whimper.
References
1. Engels, Friedrich. "The origin of the family, private property, and the state". In: The Marx-Engels Reader. Robert C. Tucher (ed.) NY:Norton. 1978 (1884) pgs. 743-751.
2. Boublin, Gina. "Study: Children lose more than just parents in divorce." Bryan/College Station Eagle (TX) March 2, 1991.
3. Wallerstein, Judith. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Study.
4. Child Abduction Statistics. The National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway, and Throwaway Children (NISMART). http://www.lostchildren.org/statistics.htm. Nov. 28, 2008.
5. The Associated Press. March 11, 2008. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23574940.
6. Center for Disease Control Statistics. July, 2006. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheet/print/msm.htm.
7. Center for Disease Control - Abortion Surveillance - U.S, 2000.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Be Wary of Socialism, Very Wary!
Socialism is a vast bureaucracy dictated by the few for the good of the few and the control of the many. A small, elite governing body is responsible for making decisions. Socialism requires total control over the teaching of its citizenry and control over the relationships of its subjects. Citizens are asked, even required, to report their neighbor to government officials for even suspected violations of government directives.
NEED FOR CHECKS AND BALANCES
The beauty, freedom and strength of America, however, and of existence itself lies in a multiplicity of ideas and variations in cultural interpretations. This multiplicity of ideas maintains the checks and balances that prevent abuses of power and encourages evaluation and growth. It is the faith of the free system of government that open and honest debate provides a foundation where the general population can choose what form of laws and regulations will best serve the greatest good. The government is then held accountable to the people for its continuing existence.
U.S. MOVES TOWARD ECONOMIC SOCIALISM
As we watch the economic breakdown in the United States two weeks now before the election of a new president, it becomes evident that decisions by small, elite groups in both business and government have undermined our free economic system and replaced it with economic socialism. We have been misled and misdirected.
We are informed that it is in our best interest to move toward socialism in this time of economic crisis.
POLITICALLY CORRECT SOCIALISM
Socialism has been rampant in the universities for decades. I entered Cornell University to return to graduate school in the early 1970's, another era of social crisis. Watergate trials were playing non-stop on the television. The Vietnam war was waging. Minorities and women were challenging the university system for equal rights. The ideology being presented by the elite academic gurus was that we needed to move toward socialism. 'Benevolent dictatorship' was whispered to be the obvious solution. A chill ran down my spine, because 'benevolent dictatorship' is a contradiction in terms. Socialism continues to be 'politically correct' in the major universities.
In the 1800's, the historian and moralist, Lord Acton, noted the corrupting behavior of absolute power.
"POWER CORRUPTS AND ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY"
Germany, the Soviet Union, and other communist countries have shown us the tragedies related to socialist perspectives in governance, and how all citizens can be drawn into these tragedies.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, in his book, The Gulag Archpelago, describes the atrocities of the Soviet prison system. He asks, "Where did this wolf-tribe appear from among our people? Does it really stem from our own roots? Our own blood? It is our own."
He concluldes, "If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being."1.
THE BANALITY OF EVIL
In 1961, Hannah Arendt reported on the trial of Otto Adolf Eichmann. She describes the banality of evil, noting that while the deeds Eichmann committed were monstrous, Eichmann, himself, was quite ordinary, neither demonic nor monstrous. What Arendt noticed was thoughtlessness, an inability to think. His responses were cliches, stock phrases, and standardized codes of expression.2.
We revolt in horror when we consider what was done in Nazi Germany by medical doctors. Robert Jay Lifton researched and reported the systematic genocide in Auschwitz and elsewhere. He noted that the Nazi motivation of 'killing as a therapeutic imperative' for the good of the Volk compelled medical doctors to participate in the Nazi eugenic vision. Doctors held no authority in deciding orders. They were powerless cogs in a vast machine, a faceless detached bureaucracy.3.
Lifton outlines the principle of 'doubling' which involves the formation of a second, relatively autonomous self, which enables one to participate in evil, while maintaining a prior self that continues as a family person and humane member of society.
CALL FOR CRITICAL THINKNG
Lifton notes that most Nazi doctors were not beasts, they were very ordinary people with families and children. However, the whole society failed to exercise the faculty of thinking critically.
Our present day 'preachings of political correctness' come dangerously close to careless and thoughtless cliches, stock phrases, and standardized codes of expression. We are being intimidated into accepting behaviors that render atrocious consequences.
Lifton concludes his discussions on doubling by saying, "In light of the recent record of professionals engaged in mass killings, can this be the century of doubling? Or, given the ever greater potential of professionalization of genocide, will that distinction belong to the twenty-first century? Or, may one ask a little more softly, can we interrupt the process - first, by naming it." 4.
COURAGE OF OUR CONVICTIONS
A crisis is that point in an illness where the patient either recovers or dies. The survival of democracy and the maintenance of the free citizen is dependent upon the vital reactivation of citizen awareness and critical thinking on the part of all. Most importantly, it requires the courage to speak out in support of our convictions.
REFERENCES:
1. Solzhenitsyn, Aleksandr. The Gulag Archipelago. In Literary Cavalcade. Jan. 1976. Vol. 28, No. 4. Pg. 41.
2. Assy, Bethania. "Eichmann, the Banality of Evil, and Thinking in Arendt's Thought". Pg. 1. http://www.bu.edu/wcp/Papers/Cont/ContAssy.htm.
3. Lifton, Robert Jay. The Nazi Doctors: Medical Killing and the Psychology of Genocide. Basic Books. (1986)2000. Pgs. 14-15.
4. Lifton, pg.465.
NEED FOR CHECKS AND BALANCES
The beauty, freedom and strength of America, however, and of existence itself lies in a multiplicity of ideas and variations in cultural interpretations. This multiplicity of ideas maintains the checks and balances that prevent abuses of power and encourages evaluation and growth. It is the faith of the free system of government that open and honest debate provides a foundation where the general population can choose what form of laws and regulations will best serve the greatest good. The government is then held accountable to the people for its continuing existence.
U.S. MOVES TOWARD ECONOMIC SOCIALISM
As we watch the economic breakdown in the United States two weeks now before the election of a new president, it becomes evident that decisions by small, elite groups in both business and government have undermined our free economic system and replaced it with economic socialism. We have been misled and misdirected.
We are informed that it is in our best interest to move toward socialism in this time of economic crisis.
POLITICALLY CORRECT SOCIALISM
Socialism has been rampant in the universities for decades. I entered Cornell University to return to graduate school in the early 1970's, another era of social crisis. Watergate trials were playing non-stop on the television. The Vietnam war was waging. Minorities and women were challenging the university system for equal rights. The ideology being presented by the elite academic gurus was that we needed to move toward socialism. 'Benevolent dictatorship' was whispered to be the obvious solution. A chill ran down my spine, because 'benevolent dictatorship' is a contradiction in terms. Socialism continues to be 'politically correct' in the major universities.
In the 1800's, the historian and moralist, Lord Acton, noted the corrupting behavior of absolute power.
"POWER CORRUPTS AND ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY"
Germany, the Soviet Union, and other communist countries have shown us the tragedies related to socialist perspectives in governance, and how all citizens can be drawn into these tragedies.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, in his book, The Gulag Archpelago, describes the atrocities of the Soviet prison system. He asks, "Where did this wolf-tribe appear from among our people? Does it really stem from our own roots? Our own blood? It is our own."
He concluldes, "If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being."1.
THE BANALITY OF EVIL
In 1961, Hannah Arendt reported on the trial of Otto Adolf Eichmann. She describes the banality of evil, noting that while the deeds Eichmann committed were monstrous, Eichmann, himself, was quite ordinary, neither demonic nor monstrous. What Arendt noticed was thoughtlessness, an inability to think. His responses were cliches, stock phrases, and standardized codes of expression.2.
We revolt in horror when we consider what was done in Nazi Germany by medical doctors. Robert Jay Lifton researched and reported the systematic genocide in Auschwitz and elsewhere. He noted that the Nazi motivation of 'killing as a therapeutic imperative' for the good of the Volk compelled medical doctors to participate in the Nazi eugenic vision. Doctors held no authority in deciding orders. They were powerless cogs in a vast machine, a faceless detached bureaucracy.3.
Lifton outlines the principle of 'doubling' which involves the formation of a second, relatively autonomous self, which enables one to participate in evil, while maintaining a prior self that continues as a family person and humane member of society.
CALL FOR CRITICAL THINKNG
Lifton notes that most Nazi doctors were not beasts, they were very ordinary people with families and children. However, the whole society failed to exercise the faculty of thinking critically.
Our present day 'preachings of political correctness' come dangerously close to careless and thoughtless cliches, stock phrases, and standardized codes of expression. We are being intimidated into accepting behaviors that render atrocious consequences.
Lifton concludes his discussions on doubling by saying, "In light of the recent record of professionals engaged in mass killings, can this be the century of doubling? Or, given the ever greater potential of professionalization of genocide, will that distinction belong to the twenty-first century? Or, may one ask a little more softly, can we interrupt the process - first, by naming it." 4.
COURAGE OF OUR CONVICTIONS
A crisis is that point in an illness where the patient either recovers or dies. The survival of democracy and the maintenance of the free citizen is dependent upon the vital reactivation of citizen awareness and critical thinking on the part of all. Most importantly, it requires the courage to speak out in support of our convictions.
REFERENCES:
1. Solzhenitsyn, Aleksandr. The Gulag Archipelago. In Literary Cavalcade. Jan. 1976. Vol. 28, No. 4. Pg. 41.
2. Assy, Bethania. "Eichmann, the Banality of Evil, and Thinking in Arendt's Thought". Pg. 1. http://www.bu.edu/wcp/Papers/Cont/ContAssy.htm.
3. Lifton, Robert Jay. The Nazi Doctors: Medical Killing and the Psychology of Genocide. Basic Books. (1986)2000. Pgs. 14-15.
4. Lifton, pg.465.
Monday, October 13, 2008
It's Not Our Economy, S-------. It's Our Character! What Happened To The Dream?
The economy took a record breaking decline last week, 4 weeks before our presidential election, and the media pundits are telling us that this is all we should be concerned about. The candidates, Barack Obama and John McCain, roll out their strategies for economic recovery, although we know, and they know, that they don't have a clue as to what they will be able to do about this. There appears to be enough blame to go around.
As I watch the presidential debates, I am proud that Barack, Hillary, and Sarah have stood up to demonstrate their strength of leadership, alongside John and Joe. As a teacher and professor I have encouraged equal rights for all.
But I am concerned.
What is needed at this junction in history are leaders who have the WISDOM, WILL and COURAGE to help us restore a greater loss than money.
OUR BROKEN DREAM
On August 28th, 1963 my husband and I joined a carload from our (white, suburban) church to attend the March on Washington For Jobs and Freedom which was
organized by black ministers, including Dr.,Rev. Martin Luther King,Jr. We stood at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial as Dr. King challenged us to build a country where people were judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I believe that Dr. King, an eloquent Baptist minister, was calling us all to social, personal and moral responsibility.
Somewhere along the line the American Dream moved away from a focus on personal responsibility to a focus on personal indulgence and the acquisition of material goods. Hedonism was placed on the throne, with personal pleasure in the present as our primary goal.
THE DREAM TURNED PLASTIC
Credit card debt has become a major problem to many Americans. Beginning in the 1950's the convenience of plastic money enticed us into a compulsive consumer economy. Instead of saving and buying with cash, we were told that we can have it all now, so 'charge ahead'!
In 2004, the average family owed $8,000 on their credit cards. Credit card companies send us endless invitations telling us that we are preapproved to open an account. Even high school students receive them. 1.
We bought into it, buying cars, boats, houses and all the furniture.
SEX SELLS!
Sex represents the ultimate personal indulgence. Sex, a powerful motivator, is used to sell products.
Advertisements have long used provocative women and sultry men to sell products from cars to cigarettes. Perverse images of sexuality are presented repeatedly to sell us products every seven minutes. When we become bored with one level of perversity, the shock value increases to continue attracting our attention, regardless of what this is doing to our ability to respect each other and our relationships.
Previously young women were raised with the awareness that sex was related to babies and sexuality was sacred, something to be saved for motherhood and family.
When the 'pill' was introduced in 1960, sex for its own sake became possible. Women were enticed into presenting themselves as sexually available and spontaneous.
Young people were drawn into early and promiscuous sexual relationships with tragic consequences.
PERSONAL AND SOCIAL TRAGEDIES - SEX SELLS AND WE BOUGHT
The hard truth is that most personal and social problems are the result of our inability to protect and nurture caring family relationships. Female headed households became the single most reason for the rapid increase in poverty for women and children.
Births Out-of-Wedlock
In 1960, 4% of births were to unmarried women. By 2005, out-of-wedlock births accounted for 37% of babies born in the United States. 2.
* In 1950, five out of six black children were born into a 2 parent home, now 70% are born outside of marriage. 3.
Divorce
Following the establishment of no-fault divorce laws in the 1970's, the number of divorces increased rapidly, In 1970, 4 million Americans had divorced. By the year 2000, the number had grown to 22 million. 4.
* Divorce and separation rates for blacks are now 50% higher than for whites. 5.
Fatherless Homes
The breakdown of marriage and family led to fatherless households. Many men are removed from the responsible and nurturing role of parenting.
Sobering federal statistics report that children from fatherless homes include the large majority of behavioral problems, teen suicides, juveniles in detention, school dropouts, children in chemical-abuse centers, youth in prison, and homeless and runaway children. 6.
Abortion
Since Roe vs. Wade in 1973, more than 50 million abortions have been performed in the U.S. Over 80% of abortions were performed on unmarried women, and over 50% to women under 25. 7.
*In 2000, blacks made up 17% of live births but 36% of all abortions. 8.
Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)
By March of 2008, 1 in 4 teen girls had at least one STD. The most common, the human papilloma virus causes cervical cancer. The second most common, chlamydia, can lead to infertility.
*Nearly half of black teens had one or more STD's. 9.
By 2005, AIDS in the U.S. had claimed over 530,000 lives. The first cases were reported in the U.S. in 1981 in the homosexual community. 77% of those infected with AIDS are males.
*Blacks represent 12% of the U.S. population, but represent over 50% of accumulated AIDS cases. 10.
Bisexual and casual sexual behaviors transferred this disease to women. In 2005, of the 126,964 women living with HIV/AIDS in the U.S., 64% were black, 19% were white, and 15% were Hispanic. 11.
ALCOHOL ABUSE 12.
The tragedies of nicotine use and illegal drugs cause immense personal and social problems, but my focus here is on problems caused by the legal and socially accepted drug of alcohol.
Alcohol is used for sociability in our society and advertisers present it as the life of the party, without presenting the tragic consequences that often result.
Binge drinking is a major problem at colleges. Even one-third of high school students report binge drinking.
Alcohol impairs muscular coodination and mental judgment and is responsible for 22% of all auto fatalities. Over 17,000 deaths occur each year in alcohol related accidents.
The bill for alcohol related abuse may run as high as $100 billion a year in responding to lost employment, crime, date rape, family abuse and family breakdown.
About 43% of adults have experienced alcoholism in their family.
Each year 5,000 children are born with fetal alcohol syndrome.
A CALL FOR WISDOM, WILL AND COURAGE
In three weeks we will vote for the next president of the United States of America.
Who will have the wisdom, will, and courage to call us to restore the content of our character?
Who can lead us back to citizenship and social, personal, and moral responsibility so the foundation of our country can be protected and restored?
There is enough blame to go around.
Let's all decide to get rich a little bit slower and care for each other.
REFERENCES
1. "Secret History of the Credit Card". Frontline. Posted Nov. 23, 2004. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/credit/view.
2. Associated Press. Nov. 21, 2006. MSNBC.com.
3.Cosby, Bill and Alvin F. Poussaint, MD.Come On People. Thomas Nelson. Nashville. 2007:2,14.
4. Henslin, James M. Social Problems. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall. 2000:371
5. Cosby, pg. 17.
6. Alexander, Mark M. "Fatherless in America". June 17, 2005. www.townhall.com/Common.
7. Center for Disease Control- Abortion Surveillance - U.S. 2000.
8. Lott, John R. and Sonya D. Jones. "Abortion Rate Among Black Women Far Exceeds Rate for Other Groups". April 9, 2008. http://www.foxnews.com.
9. The Associated Press. March 11, 2008. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23574940.
10. Center for Disease Control HIV/AIDS. 9/8/2007. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance.
11. HIV/AIDS Among Women. 5/26/2008. http://www.cdc/gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets.
12. Henslin, James M. Social Problems Prentice Hall. Saddle River, NJ. 2000:105-106.
Palen, J. John. Social Problems for the Twenty-first Century.McGraw Hill. 2001:370-371.
Parrillo, Vincent N., John Stimson and Ardyth Stimson. Contemporary Social Problems. Allyn and Bacon. 1999:58-59.
As I watch the presidential debates, I am proud that Barack, Hillary, and Sarah have stood up to demonstrate their strength of leadership, alongside John and Joe. As a teacher and professor I have encouraged equal rights for all.
But I am concerned.
What is needed at this junction in history are leaders who have the WISDOM, WILL and COURAGE to help us restore a greater loss than money.
OUR BROKEN DREAM
On August 28th, 1963 my husband and I joined a carload from our (white, suburban) church to attend the March on Washington For Jobs and Freedom which was
organized by black ministers, including Dr.,Rev. Martin Luther King,Jr. We stood at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial as Dr. King challenged us to build a country where people were judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I believe that Dr. King, an eloquent Baptist minister, was calling us all to social, personal and moral responsibility.
Somewhere along the line the American Dream moved away from a focus on personal responsibility to a focus on personal indulgence and the acquisition of material goods. Hedonism was placed on the throne, with personal pleasure in the present as our primary goal.
THE DREAM TURNED PLASTIC
Credit card debt has become a major problem to many Americans. Beginning in the 1950's the convenience of plastic money enticed us into a compulsive consumer economy. Instead of saving and buying with cash, we were told that we can have it all now, so 'charge ahead'!
In 2004, the average family owed $8,000 on their credit cards. Credit card companies send us endless invitations telling us that we are preapproved to open an account. Even high school students receive them. 1.
We bought into it, buying cars, boats, houses and all the furniture.
SEX SELLS!
Sex represents the ultimate personal indulgence. Sex, a powerful motivator, is used to sell products.
Advertisements have long used provocative women and sultry men to sell products from cars to cigarettes. Perverse images of sexuality are presented repeatedly to sell us products every seven minutes. When we become bored with one level of perversity, the shock value increases to continue attracting our attention, regardless of what this is doing to our ability to respect each other and our relationships.
Previously young women were raised with the awareness that sex was related to babies and sexuality was sacred, something to be saved for motherhood and family.
When the 'pill' was introduced in 1960, sex for its own sake became possible. Women were enticed into presenting themselves as sexually available and spontaneous.
Young people were drawn into early and promiscuous sexual relationships with tragic consequences.
PERSONAL AND SOCIAL TRAGEDIES - SEX SELLS AND WE BOUGHT
The hard truth is that most personal and social problems are the result of our inability to protect and nurture caring family relationships. Female headed households became the single most reason for the rapid increase in poverty for women and children.
Births Out-of-Wedlock
In 1960, 4% of births were to unmarried women. By 2005, out-of-wedlock births accounted for 37% of babies born in the United States. 2.
* In 1950, five out of six black children were born into a 2 parent home, now 70% are born outside of marriage. 3.
Divorce
Following the establishment of no-fault divorce laws in the 1970's, the number of divorces increased rapidly, In 1970, 4 million Americans had divorced. By the year 2000, the number had grown to 22 million. 4.
* Divorce and separation rates for blacks are now 50% higher than for whites. 5.
Fatherless Homes
The breakdown of marriage and family led to fatherless households. Many men are removed from the responsible and nurturing role of parenting.
Sobering federal statistics report that children from fatherless homes include the large majority of behavioral problems, teen suicides, juveniles in detention, school dropouts, children in chemical-abuse centers, youth in prison, and homeless and runaway children. 6.
Abortion
Since Roe vs. Wade in 1973, more than 50 million abortions have been performed in the U.S. Over 80% of abortions were performed on unmarried women, and over 50% to women under 25. 7.
*In 2000, blacks made up 17% of live births but 36% of all abortions. 8.
Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)
By March of 2008, 1 in 4 teen girls had at least one STD. The most common, the human papilloma virus causes cervical cancer. The second most common, chlamydia, can lead to infertility.
*Nearly half of black teens had one or more STD's. 9.
By 2005, AIDS in the U.S. had claimed over 530,000 lives. The first cases were reported in the U.S. in 1981 in the homosexual community. 77% of those infected with AIDS are males.
*Blacks represent 12% of the U.S. population, but represent over 50% of accumulated AIDS cases. 10.
Bisexual and casual sexual behaviors transferred this disease to women. In 2005, of the 126,964 women living with HIV/AIDS in the U.S., 64% were black, 19% were white, and 15% were Hispanic. 11.
ALCOHOL ABUSE 12.
The tragedies of nicotine use and illegal drugs cause immense personal and social problems, but my focus here is on problems caused by the legal and socially accepted drug of alcohol.
Alcohol is used for sociability in our society and advertisers present it as the life of the party, without presenting the tragic consequences that often result.
Binge drinking is a major problem at colleges. Even one-third of high school students report binge drinking.
Alcohol impairs muscular coodination and mental judgment and is responsible for 22% of all auto fatalities. Over 17,000 deaths occur each year in alcohol related accidents.
The bill for alcohol related abuse may run as high as $100 billion a year in responding to lost employment, crime, date rape, family abuse and family breakdown.
About 43% of adults have experienced alcoholism in their family.
Each year 5,000 children are born with fetal alcohol syndrome.
A CALL FOR WISDOM, WILL AND COURAGE
In three weeks we will vote for the next president of the United States of America.
Who will have the wisdom, will, and courage to call us to restore the content of our character?
Who can lead us back to citizenship and social, personal, and moral responsibility so the foundation of our country can be protected and restored?
There is enough blame to go around.
Let's all decide to get rich a little bit slower and care for each other.
REFERENCES
1. "Secret History of the Credit Card". Frontline. Posted Nov. 23, 2004. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/credit/view.
2. Associated Press. Nov. 21, 2006. MSNBC.com.
3.Cosby, Bill and Alvin F. Poussaint, MD.Come On People. Thomas Nelson. Nashville. 2007:2,14.
4. Henslin, James M. Social Problems. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall. 2000:371
5. Cosby, pg. 17.
6. Alexander, Mark M. "Fatherless in America". June 17, 2005. www.townhall.com/Common.
7. Center for Disease Control- Abortion Surveillance - U.S. 2000.
8. Lott, John R. and Sonya D. Jones. "Abortion Rate Among Black Women Far Exceeds Rate for Other Groups". April 9, 2008. http://www.foxnews.com.
9. The Associated Press. March 11, 2008. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23574940.
10. Center for Disease Control HIV/AIDS. 9/8/2007. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance.
11. HIV/AIDS Among Women. 5/26/2008. http://www.cdc/gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets.
12. Henslin, James M. Social Problems Prentice Hall. Saddle River, NJ. 2000:105-106.
Palen, J. John. Social Problems for the Twenty-first Century.McGraw Hill. 2001:370-371.
Parrillo, Vincent N., John Stimson and Ardyth Stimson. Contemporary Social Problems. Allyn and Bacon. 1999:58-59.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Economic Socialism Endangers Our Freedoms!
OUR FREEDOMS AT STAKE!
Our very freedoms are at stake in the horrendous request that asks taxpayers to give the government SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS of their hard earned money to bail out fiascos on wall street.
Our free enterprise system is the foundation that allows many voices to be heard and considered and many enterprises to be established to support values.
IT'S TIME TO STOP ALL THE POLITICAL RHETORIC AND INVESTIGATE WHAT AND WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DEBACLE.
Giving government bureaucrats at the treasury department centralized control over the money available for making business loans and more importantly giving them the authority to decide the eligibility rules as to who will receive these loans moves us into the realm of economic socialism.
Government bureaucracies are under the control of 'political correctness' that is being orchestrated by the far left. This concern becomes evident as we examine government control of the public school system.
POLITICALLY CORRECT BUREAUCRATS AND THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS
Moral and religious values of many, I would suggest most, of the students and parents are held in contempt as educational bureaucrats use the public school system to present promiscuous teenage sexuality, homosexuality and abortion as normalized behaviors, even in the elementary grades.
The importance of our religious values and heritage are dismissed within the public schools. My own 8 year old grandson informed me that "We're not allowed to talk about God in school".
As a teacher and professor I have sat through at least 4 extended 'politically correct' indoctrination sessions incorrectly promoted as diversity training. I have watched students and teachers who were 'put down' or even dismissed from their profession for failing to buy into the 'diversified indoctrination".
POLITICALLY CORRECT BUREAUCRATS AND OUR ECONOMIC SYSTEM
Now we want to put government bureaucrats in charge of deciding who or what economic loans are justified and possible? Will similar 'politically correct' criteria be used to make these decisions? Will health industries, private schools, books stores, theaters, department stores, etc. first be required to adjust their offerings to 'political correctness' before they can receive loans? Will the 'I Love Jesus Tire and Brake Service' be required to change its name before a loan is made?
Our foremothers and forefathers, often leaving all behind, came to this country to escape the tyranny of government control over their minds and souls.
Our greed to consume is undermining the spiritual and moral values that have made our country strong. The demand for easy credit and living beyond our means is undermining our integrity.
Dying of consumption is not a good way to go!
IT'S TIME TO EXAMINE OURSELVES! IT'S TIME TO BE ECONOMICALLY RESPONSIBLE AND PROTECT OUR ECONOMIC FREEDOMS!
Our very freedoms are at stake in the horrendous request that asks taxpayers to give the government SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS of their hard earned money to bail out fiascos on wall street.
Our free enterprise system is the foundation that allows many voices to be heard and considered and many enterprises to be established to support values.
IT'S TIME TO STOP ALL THE POLITICAL RHETORIC AND INVESTIGATE WHAT AND WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DEBACLE.
Giving government bureaucrats at the treasury department centralized control over the money available for making business loans and more importantly giving them the authority to decide the eligibility rules as to who will receive these loans moves us into the realm of economic socialism.
Government bureaucracies are under the control of 'political correctness' that is being orchestrated by the far left. This concern becomes evident as we examine government control of the public school system.
POLITICALLY CORRECT BUREAUCRATS AND THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS
Moral and religious values of many, I would suggest most, of the students and parents are held in contempt as educational bureaucrats use the public school system to present promiscuous teenage sexuality, homosexuality and abortion as normalized behaviors, even in the elementary grades.
The importance of our religious values and heritage are dismissed within the public schools. My own 8 year old grandson informed me that "We're not allowed to talk about God in school".
As a teacher and professor I have sat through at least 4 extended 'politically correct' indoctrination sessions incorrectly promoted as diversity training. I have watched students and teachers who were 'put down' or even dismissed from their profession for failing to buy into the 'diversified indoctrination".
POLITICALLY CORRECT BUREAUCRATS AND OUR ECONOMIC SYSTEM
Now we want to put government bureaucrats in charge of deciding who or what economic loans are justified and possible? Will similar 'politically correct' criteria be used to make these decisions? Will health industries, private schools, books stores, theaters, department stores, etc. first be required to adjust their offerings to 'political correctness' before they can receive loans? Will the 'I Love Jesus Tire and Brake Service' be required to change its name before a loan is made?
Our foremothers and forefathers, often leaving all behind, came to this country to escape the tyranny of government control over their minds and souls.
Our greed to consume is undermining the spiritual and moral values that have made our country strong. The demand for easy credit and living beyond our means is undermining our integrity.
Dying of consumption is not a good way to go!
IT'S TIME TO EXAMINE OURSELVES! IT'S TIME TO BE ECONOMICALLY RESPONSIBLE AND PROTECT OUR ECONOMIC FREEDOMS!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Holy Humanism! It's Politically Correct!
Political correctness has become the mantra of our present day culture. Where did it come from and what is involved in this often intimidating social trend?
The blueprint for political correctness is summarized in two articles of 'faith': Humanist Manifesto I and Humanist Manifesto II.
HUMANIST MANIFESTO I- POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS BORN
In 1933, 34 people signed the Humanist Manifesto I with the intent of establishing a new religion. Included within this group were professors of major universities and ethical societies. Fifteen signers were Unitarians. Included in this group was the educator, John Dewey.
This document outlined the premises of this new religion.
"Today man's larger understanding of the universe, his scientific achievements, and deeper appreciation of brotherhood, have created a situation which requires a new statement of the means and purposes of religion...To establish such a religion is a major necessity of the present...We therefore affirm the following." 1.
* The universe is self-existing, not created. Man is a continuous process of nature. The idea of dualism of mind and body must be rejected. Life exists only in the 'here' and 'now'.
* Modern science makes unacceptable inalienable human values.
* Worship and prayer must be replaced by a sense of personal life and social well-being.
* Religious institutions must be reconstituted as rapidly as possible to function in this new world.
* A socialized and cooperative economic order must be established.
HUMANIST MANIFESTO II - POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GROWS UP!
In 1973, a second manifesto was published. In this document, caution was expressed in discussing the 'faith' of 1933.
"Events since then make that earlier statement seem far too optimistic... Nazism has shown the depths of brutality of which humanity is capable...Science has sometimes brought evil as well as good." 2.
However, the 1973 document continues to deny traditional theism.
"As in 1933, humanists still believe that traditional theism, especially faith in the prayer-hearing God, assumed to live and care for persons, to hear and understand prayers, and to be able to do something about them is an unproved and outmoded faith."..."The next century can and should be the humanistic century." 2.
This statement affirms a "design for a secular society on a planetary scale". Technology is outlined as the key to human progress, with the 'faith' that scientific research should not be censored. Traditional religions are outlined as the obstacles to human progress.
* There is no divine purpose or separable soul.
* The use of the scientific method must be extended.
* Participatory democracy must be extended to the economy, school, family, workplace, and voluntary associations.
* The state should be responsible to encourage freedom for different moral, political, religious, and social values.
* Ethics must be considered autonomous and situational.
* Civil liberties must be extended to include:
- the right to die
- the right to euthanasia
- the right to suicide
- the right to birth control
- the right to abortion
- the right to divorce
- the right to many varieties of sexual behaviors between consenting adults.
Humanist Manifesto II proposes the development of a system of world law and world order based on a transnational federal government. This world community must renounce violence and engage in cooperative planning. The writers have 'faith' that global scientific socialism will lead to world progress and brotherhood.
The document of 1973 was signed by 118 people each of whom listed an affiliation with an organized group. Included in this group were over 40 professors at major universities and 30 leaders of ethical, humanist, rational and Unitarian societies. Among those signing were the author Isaac Asinov, the Russian dissident Andrei Sakkarov, and the behavioral psychologist, B. F. Skinner.
THE NEW RELIGION IS POLITICALLY CORRECT!
The above 'faith' statements represent the 'religion' that is being taught in our universities and our public schools. Although the ideas in the manifestos are stated in positive terms of brotherhood, peace, goodwill, human happiness, and human potential, the documents are replete with hidden agendas for far-reaching societal change.
Democracy is held up as an ideal for this new society. However, the tone of the articles is one of command. The words 'must' and 'should' appear repeatedly throughout the documents.
The proposals in these documents constitute major changes in religious, social, and political organization. What is outlined is global scientific socialism, devoid of spiritual or eternal reality.
SPEAK OUT!
Because the affirmations in these documents have been stated as imperatives, it becomes imperative that we, as students, educators, parents and citizens, study these proposals, discuss the extent of their influence in our educational system, anaylze the textbooks being used, and consider whether this is the direction in which we want to proceed, whether this is the religion we want taught in our public school systems.
Then we must make our voices heard! In the community, the school systems, in the legislature.
1. Humanist Manifesto I. The New Humanist. Vol. VI. No. 3 (May/June) 1933.
http://www.jcn.com/manifestos.html.
2. Humanist Manifest II. The New Humanist. Vol. XXXIII. No. 5 (Sept/Oct) 1973.
http://www.jcn.com/manifestos.html.
The blueprint for political correctness is summarized in two articles of 'faith': Humanist Manifesto I and Humanist Manifesto II.
HUMANIST MANIFESTO I- POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS BORN
In 1933, 34 people signed the Humanist Manifesto I with the intent of establishing a new religion. Included within this group were professors of major universities and ethical societies. Fifteen signers were Unitarians. Included in this group was the educator, John Dewey.
This document outlined the premises of this new religion.
"Today man's larger understanding of the universe, his scientific achievements, and deeper appreciation of brotherhood, have created a situation which requires a new statement of the means and purposes of religion...To establish such a religion is a major necessity of the present...We therefore affirm the following." 1.
* The universe is self-existing, not created. Man is a continuous process of nature. The idea of dualism of mind and body must be rejected. Life exists only in the 'here' and 'now'.
* Modern science makes unacceptable inalienable human values.
* Worship and prayer must be replaced by a sense of personal life and social well-being.
* Religious institutions must be reconstituted as rapidly as possible to function in this new world.
* A socialized and cooperative economic order must be established.
HUMANIST MANIFESTO II - POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GROWS UP!
In 1973, a second manifesto was published. In this document, caution was expressed in discussing the 'faith' of 1933.
"Events since then make that earlier statement seem far too optimistic... Nazism has shown the depths of brutality of which humanity is capable...Science has sometimes brought evil as well as good." 2.
However, the 1973 document continues to deny traditional theism.
"As in 1933, humanists still believe that traditional theism, especially faith in the prayer-hearing God, assumed to live and care for persons, to hear and understand prayers, and to be able to do something about them is an unproved and outmoded faith."..."The next century can and should be the humanistic century." 2.
This statement affirms a "design for a secular society on a planetary scale". Technology is outlined as the key to human progress, with the 'faith' that scientific research should not be censored. Traditional religions are outlined as the obstacles to human progress.
* There is no divine purpose or separable soul.
* The use of the scientific method must be extended.
* Participatory democracy must be extended to the economy, school, family, workplace, and voluntary associations.
* The state should be responsible to encourage freedom for different moral, political, religious, and social values.
* Ethics must be considered autonomous and situational.
* Civil liberties must be extended to include:
- the right to die
- the right to euthanasia
- the right to suicide
- the right to birth control
- the right to abortion
- the right to divorce
- the right to many varieties of sexual behaviors between consenting adults.
Humanist Manifesto II proposes the development of a system of world law and world order based on a transnational federal government. This world community must renounce violence and engage in cooperative planning. The writers have 'faith' that global scientific socialism will lead to world progress and brotherhood.
The document of 1973 was signed by 118 people each of whom listed an affiliation with an organized group. Included in this group were over 40 professors at major universities and 30 leaders of ethical, humanist, rational and Unitarian societies. Among those signing were the author Isaac Asinov, the Russian dissident Andrei Sakkarov, and the behavioral psychologist, B. F. Skinner.
THE NEW RELIGION IS POLITICALLY CORRECT!
The above 'faith' statements represent the 'religion' that is being taught in our universities and our public schools. Although the ideas in the manifestos are stated in positive terms of brotherhood, peace, goodwill, human happiness, and human potential, the documents are replete with hidden agendas for far-reaching societal change.
Democracy is held up as an ideal for this new society. However, the tone of the articles is one of command. The words 'must' and 'should' appear repeatedly throughout the documents.
The proposals in these documents constitute major changes in religious, social, and political organization. What is outlined is global scientific socialism, devoid of spiritual or eternal reality.
SPEAK OUT!
Because the affirmations in these documents have been stated as imperatives, it becomes imperative that we, as students, educators, parents and citizens, study these proposals, discuss the extent of their influence in our educational system, anaylze the textbooks being used, and consider whether this is the direction in which we want to proceed, whether this is the religion we want taught in our public school systems.
Then we must make our voices heard! In the community, the school systems, in the legislature.
1. Humanist Manifesto I. The New Humanist. Vol. VI. No. 3 (May/June) 1933.
http://www.jcn.com/manifestos.html.
2. Humanist Manifest II. The New Humanist. Vol. XXXIII. No. 5 (Sept/Oct) 1973.
http://www.jcn.com/manifestos.html.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
When Organizations and Families Collide
Most Americans continue to find their greatest sources of nurture, support, and meaning within their family experiences.
In our modern society, however, we are spending an increasing amount of time in bureaucratic organizational involvements, away from our families.
Organizations, while offering support and services for families and individuals, may challenge and compete with family involvements. Organizations may view members as commodities to expand and increase the organizational program, with little thought or concern about how the involvements may affect relationships within the family unit.
Social analyst, Eugene Litwak, contends that both organizations and strong family relationships are essential for the maintenance of an industrial society. He notes that organizations provide efficient, objective, transitory, and specialized services, while the family and kinship units provide the personal, emotional, diffuse, and permanent support and guidance necessary for personal development. 1.
THE FAMILY REALM IS DIFFERENT
The family realm differs from relationships in bureaucratic organizations. The expectations for interactions within these two realms are usually quite different.
Researchers in the Department of Family Sciences of Brigham Young University identified seven characteristics that distinguish the 'ideal' family realm from organizational experiences. 2.
1. Family relationships are generational and permanent.
* Organizations have specific goals of interest for a limited time period.
2. Family relationships involve 'whole persons' for better and worse with respect for the unique qualities of the members.
* Organizations involve people in a 'role' relationship, structured to avoid
contradictions.
3. Family relationships are multidimensional. Many processes are occurring at once, often becoming irrational and disordered. Actions and feelings must be juggled simultaneously.
* Organizational activities are focused, sequential, ordered, and temporary.
4. Families develop emotional intensity that includes not only feelings of love, but also feelings of concern worry, and anger.
* Feelings toward organizational colleagues are less intense and holistic.
5. Family relationships focus on measures of the quality of 'being' in an ongoing process of nurture.
* Organizations focus on quantity measures of achievement, profit, performance,
ratings, and rankings.
6. Family relationships include a sense of sacred responsibility and duty to other family members.
* Organizations include agreements and contracts for mutual advantage.
7. Family relationships are based on processes of caring, nurturing, persuading, and training to foster the growth and development of the members.
* Organizations treat members as commodities where people are hired, fired,
managed and manipulated.
LEARNING HOW TO LOVE FOREVER - EDUCATION FOR HEALTHY MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES
Our social education programs are failing to educate citizens in the skills necessary for the success of healthy marriage and family relationships. Without the ability to care and share, listen and communicate, manage anger, resolve conflicts and forgive, relationships within families become destructive and broken.
In 1995, the Council on Families, which includes prominent social researchers and proponents of religious and social policy, issued a report entitled Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation. They contend that "The divorce revolution...has failed. It has created terrible hardships for children, incurred unsupportable social costs, and failed to deliver on its promise of greater adult happiness... Making marriage in America stronger will require a fundamental shift in cultural values and public policy. No one sector of society is responsible for the decline in marriage... We are all part of the problem, and therefore we all must be part of the solution." 3.
The Council on Families concludes that educational, religious, civic, business, political, and health organizations must all work together to regain the personal
and social value of marriage and family relationships.
In light of the importance of continuing family relationships for personal support, and concerns for the tragic breakdown of family relationships and social cost to individuals and society, it is essential that our educational organizations, including our schools, churches and other community support groups, offer training in the unique processes that support marriage and family nurture and enrichment.
WE CAN LEARN TO LOVE FOREVER! It's time to move forward and make it happen!
REFERENCES:
1. Litwak, Eugene. "Extended kin relations in an industrial society." In
Social Structure and the Family: Generational Relations.E. Shanas and B.F. Streib. Englewood Cliff, NJ: Prentice Hall. 1965:290-323.
2. Beutler, Ivan R., Wesley R. Burr and Kathleen S. Bahr. "The family realm: theoretical contributions for understanding its uniqueness." Journal of Marriage and the Family. Vol.51(August)1989:805-816.
3. Council on Families. Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation. 1995.
www.americanvalues.org/html/r-marriage_in_america.
In our modern society, however, we are spending an increasing amount of time in bureaucratic organizational involvements, away from our families.
Organizations, while offering support and services for families and individuals, may challenge and compete with family involvements. Organizations may view members as commodities to expand and increase the organizational program, with little thought or concern about how the involvements may affect relationships within the family unit.
Social analyst, Eugene Litwak, contends that both organizations and strong family relationships are essential for the maintenance of an industrial society. He notes that organizations provide efficient, objective, transitory, and specialized services, while the family and kinship units provide the personal, emotional, diffuse, and permanent support and guidance necessary for personal development. 1.
THE FAMILY REALM IS DIFFERENT
The family realm differs from relationships in bureaucratic organizations. The expectations for interactions within these two realms are usually quite different.
Researchers in the Department of Family Sciences of Brigham Young University identified seven characteristics that distinguish the 'ideal' family realm from organizational experiences. 2.
1. Family relationships are generational and permanent.
* Organizations have specific goals of interest for a limited time period.
2. Family relationships involve 'whole persons' for better and worse with respect for the unique qualities of the members.
* Organizations involve people in a 'role' relationship, structured to avoid
contradictions.
3. Family relationships are multidimensional. Many processes are occurring at once, often becoming irrational and disordered. Actions and feelings must be juggled simultaneously.
* Organizational activities are focused, sequential, ordered, and temporary.
4. Families develop emotional intensity that includes not only feelings of love, but also feelings of concern worry, and anger.
* Feelings toward organizational colleagues are less intense and holistic.
5. Family relationships focus on measures of the quality of 'being' in an ongoing process of nurture.
* Organizations focus on quantity measures of achievement, profit, performance,
ratings, and rankings.
6. Family relationships include a sense of sacred responsibility and duty to other family members.
* Organizations include agreements and contracts for mutual advantage.
7. Family relationships are based on processes of caring, nurturing, persuading, and training to foster the growth and development of the members.
* Organizations treat members as commodities where people are hired, fired,
managed and manipulated.
LEARNING HOW TO LOVE FOREVER - EDUCATION FOR HEALTHY MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES
Our social education programs are failing to educate citizens in the skills necessary for the success of healthy marriage and family relationships. Without the ability to care and share, listen and communicate, manage anger, resolve conflicts and forgive, relationships within families become destructive and broken.
In 1995, the Council on Families, which includes prominent social researchers and proponents of religious and social policy, issued a report entitled Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation. They contend that "The divorce revolution...has failed. It has created terrible hardships for children, incurred unsupportable social costs, and failed to deliver on its promise of greater adult happiness... Making marriage in America stronger will require a fundamental shift in cultural values and public policy. No one sector of society is responsible for the decline in marriage... We are all part of the problem, and therefore we all must be part of the solution." 3.
The Council on Families concludes that educational, religious, civic, business, political, and health organizations must all work together to regain the personal
and social value of marriage and family relationships.
In light of the importance of continuing family relationships for personal support, and concerns for the tragic breakdown of family relationships and social cost to individuals and society, it is essential that our educational organizations, including our schools, churches and other community support groups, offer training in the unique processes that support marriage and family nurture and enrichment.
WE CAN LEARN TO LOVE FOREVER! It's time to move forward and make it happen!
REFERENCES:
1. Litwak, Eugene. "Extended kin relations in an industrial society." In
Social Structure and the Family: Generational Relations.E. Shanas and B.F. Streib. Englewood Cliff, NJ: Prentice Hall. 1965:290-323.
2. Beutler, Ivan R., Wesley R. Burr and Kathleen S. Bahr. "The family realm: theoretical contributions for understanding its uniqueness." Journal of Marriage and the Family. Vol.51(August)1989:805-816.
3. Council on Families. Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation. 1995.
www.americanvalues.org/html/r-marriage_in_america.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Texas Leads in Marriage Strengthening Programs
On June 15th of 2007, the Governor of Texas signed into Law 2 bills designed to support the development of healthy marriages and families:
House Bill 2683 - Strengthening Families
House Bill 2685 - Marriage Preparation Courses 1.
PUBLIC POLICY CONCERNS
Building strong families is a public policy concern because the dissolution of marriage and families creates social problems which require the state to spend large amounts of money through child support collection, food stamps, government health insurance and correctional facilities. 2.
Federal law makes federal grants available to state governments from the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) block grants and from the Safe and Stable Families block grants. However, only a few states, including Oklahoma and Ohio, use these grants. 3.
By supporting these two bills, Texas will lead the nation at the state level in promoting programs to give families tools to succeed in marriage and family relationship skills.
HB 2683 - STRENGTHENING FAMILIES
This bill, which became effective on September 1, 2007, approved $15 million in federal TANF funds for programs "to promote healthy relationships, and child well-being and to reduce the risk of domestic violence." 4.
HB 2685 - MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSES
This bill, which will become effective on September 1, 2008, encourages applicants for marriage licenses to take voluntary marriage preparation courses.
HB 2685 also increases the fee for a marriage license from $30 to $60. However, couples who choose to undertake an 8 hour marriage preparation course will be exempt from paying the marriage license fee and also exempt from the 72 hour waiting period between the issuing of a license and the date of marriage.
The marriage preparation courses must include instruction in conflict resolution and communication skills. The courses offered must be based on research and provided by a certified instructor.
The Texas Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC) maintains a website under the "Twogether in Texas" Healthy Marriage Program to register trained marriage educators, make information available to the public, and ensure that the premarital education courses offered meet appropriate standards. The state has been divided into 12 regions with intermediaries who oversee the program. 5.
Education programs funded by the state must use secular and qualifying curriculum, and offer the classes free of charge.
Education programs not funded by the state can use faith-based curriculum if it is
certified as a recognized premarital curriculum. These programs must be registered with the Regional Intermediaries of "Twogether in Texas" in order for recipients to receive the marriage fee exemption.
IT'S TIME TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM.
"Encouraging couples to undertake premarital education courses is intended to provide them with the skills necessary to resolve marital conflicts, which will make for stronger marriages that are less likely to end in failure. It is indisputable that marriage has a positive impact on the well-being of adults, children, and families, and that it improves satisfaction with life and fosters economic stability." 6.
State Representive, Warren Chisum, R-Pampa, sponsored the legislation that developed the programs for healthy family education. He said, "With the frequency of divorce and problems we have with marriage in this state, it's time someone addressed the problem." 7.
REFERENCES
1. www.capitol.state.tx.us/BillLookup/BillNumber.aspx. July 30, 2008.
2. Legislative Update. Friday, July 13, 2007.
http://www.house.state.tx.us/news/release.php?id=2126.
3. Texas FAMLI. http://tx.famli.us/content/view/1/1/.
4. Leeks, Gordon. Project Manager, Healthy Marriage Program. Texas Health and
Human Services Commission. Power Point presentation. 6/6/08. "Twogether in
Texas".
5. Ibid.
6. Legislative Update. (as above)
7. Hodges, Sam. "Texas Marriage Education Program aims to prevent divorce."
The Dallas Morning News. July 4, 2008.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/religion/stories/070508
dnmetmarriageclass.23f2125.html.
House Bill 2683 - Strengthening Families
House Bill 2685 - Marriage Preparation Courses 1.
PUBLIC POLICY CONCERNS
Building strong families is a public policy concern because the dissolution of marriage and families creates social problems which require the state to spend large amounts of money through child support collection, food stamps, government health insurance and correctional facilities. 2.
Federal law makes federal grants available to state governments from the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) block grants and from the Safe and Stable Families block grants. However, only a few states, including Oklahoma and Ohio, use these grants. 3.
By supporting these two bills, Texas will lead the nation at the state level in promoting programs to give families tools to succeed in marriage and family relationship skills.
HB 2683 - STRENGTHENING FAMILIES
This bill, which became effective on September 1, 2007, approved $15 million in federal TANF funds for programs "to promote healthy relationships, and child well-being and to reduce the risk of domestic violence." 4.
HB 2685 - MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSES
This bill, which will become effective on September 1, 2008, encourages applicants for marriage licenses to take voluntary marriage preparation courses.
HB 2685 also increases the fee for a marriage license from $30 to $60. However, couples who choose to undertake an 8 hour marriage preparation course will be exempt from paying the marriage license fee and also exempt from the 72 hour waiting period between the issuing of a license and the date of marriage.
The marriage preparation courses must include instruction in conflict resolution and communication skills. The courses offered must be based on research and provided by a certified instructor.
The Texas Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC) maintains a website under the "Twogether in Texas" Healthy Marriage Program to register trained marriage educators, make information available to the public, and ensure that the premarital education courses offered meet appropriate standards. The state has been divided into 12 regions with intermediaries who oversee the program. 5.
Education programs funded by the state must use secular and qualifying curriculum, and offer the classes free of charge.
Education programs not funded by the state can use faith-based curriculum if it is
certified as a recognized premarital curriculum. These programs must be registered with the Regional Intermediaries of "Twogether in Texas" in order for recipients to receive the marriage fee exemption.
IT'S TIME TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM.
"Encouraging couples to undertake premarital education courses is intended to provide them with the skills necessary to resolve marital conflicts, which will make for stronger marriages that are less likely to end in failure. It is indisputable that marriage has a positive impact on the well-being of adults, children, and families, and that it improves satisfaction with life and fosters economic stability." 6.
State Representive, Warren Chisum, R-Pampa, sponsored the legislation that developed the programs for healthy family education. He said, "With the frequency of divorce and problems we have with marriage in this state, it's time someone addressed the problem." 7.
REFERENCES
1. www.capitol.state.tx.us/BillLookup/BillNumber.aspx. July 30, 2008.
2. Legislative Update. Friday, July 13, 2007.
http://www.house.state.tx.us/news/release.php?id=2126.
3. Texas FAMLI. http://tx.famli.us/content/view/1/1/.
4. Leeks, Gordon. Project Manager, Healthy Marriage Program. Texas Health and
Human Services Commission. Power Point presentation. 6/6/08. "Twogether in
Texas".
5. Ibid.
6. Legislative Update. (as above)
7. Hodges, Sam. "Texas Marriage Education Program aims to prevent divorce."
The Dallas Morning News. July 4, 2008.
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/religion/stories/070508
dnmetmarriageclass.23f2125.html.
Friday, July 11, 2008
How's the Weather Inside? A Workshop for Marriage Enrichment
Yes,you can do it! Plan a workshop for marriage enrichment.
"America has the highest rate of marriage of any industrialized nation...(and) the highest divorce rate in the world. Most of the world views the American pattern of marriage and divorce not as a model to be copied but as a disaster to be avoided."1.
David Mace, the founder of the Organization for Couples in Marriage Enrichment, stated, "I believe we must find ways to kindle new hope in them that their marriages can really be much more satisfying and rewarding." 2. Marriage enrichment is not therapy or counseling. Rather it is educational and learning exercises in better communication skills.
Communities across the country are beginning to realize the need for education in marriage and family relationships. Churches, civic groups and schools are providing classes and seminars for couples and parents to learn the importance of family and to learn skills to stay connected. 3.
There are many resources available to help organize programs for marriage enrichment.
This workshop, conducted within a church setting, was guided by discussions and exercises found in the book: The Marriage Mender: A Couple's Guide to Staying Together. 4.
Thoughtful popular songs were used throughout the program.
======================================================
A Workshop for Marriage Enrichment:
HOW'S THE WEATHER INSIDE? GETTING TO SUNSHINE THROUGH THE STORM.
Every marriage has many storms to weather as life progresses and changes. Marriage enrichment activities develop skills in affirming each other, conflict resolution and communication.
9:00 Opening Session/ Introduction'
Song: Singin'in the Rain -"I'm laughing at clouds so dark up above.
The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love."5.
9:30 Workshop I - Charting the Storms and Clouds / Rainbows and Sunshine
Song: Suddenly There's a Valley - "When a storm hides the distant rainbow, and you think you can't find a friend" 6.
10:45 Break
11:00 Workshop II - Calming the Storm - Conflict Resolution Skills
Song: You'll Never Walk Alone - "When you walk through a storm hold your head up high". 7.
12:15 Lunch
1:15 Workshop III. Seeing Through the Clouds - Clear Communication
Song: Sing a Rainbow -"Listen with your eyes and sing everything you see." 8.
2:30 Break
2:45 Workshop IV - Rainbows and Sunshine - Creating Intimacy
3:45 Concluding Thoughts
======================================================
WORKSHOP I. CHARTING THE STORMS AND CLOUDS / RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE
(The Marriage Mender - Chapters one and two)
Couple exercise.
Each person, anonymously, makes a list of 3 serious problems and 3 valuable assets in their marital relationship. The lists are turned in and written on overhead charts for future discussion and reference. This exercise helps husbands and wives realize that many of their experiences are common to other couples.
Expectations
We enter marriage with many myths about what marriage should be: 'my mate will always love me, share my values, and understand my feelings and needs'.
Then we wake up to discover, "I didn't marry myself!"
Our problems come from 3 areas of differences:
* opposites attract
* men and women are different
* each partner comes from a different family-of-origen.
Unrealistic expectations can lead to resentment and anger unless they are realistically examined and discussed.
Three inevitable stages of love and marriage:
Infatuation - Negotiation- Mature Love
Romance and infatuation
This is a wonderful period in a relationship. It allows for the bonding and attachment necessary for a marriage to take place. A feeling of 'US' pervades.
TV, movies, music, and romance novels deceive us into thinking that love will always be exciting and unconditional.
Romance is a transient stage that we move through into the stage of negotiation.
Negotiation
This stage occurs when the partners realize that they are not getting all their needs met. A feeling of 'ME' occurs when expectations are shattered and energized conflict develops. A committed process of communication, listening, compromise and forgiveness is required to work through the differences.
Without a concerted effort to understand and grow together, destructive patterns lead to stalemate, boredom, and autonomy, or separation and divorce.
Mature Love
Mature love requires the commitment to appreciate each other's uniqueness, to communicate, and be flexible enough to meet each other's needs. The feeling of 'US' returns as each partner accepts the responsibility to honor and appreciate differences and work through the give and take of daily activities.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WORKSHOP II - CALMING THE STORM - CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS
(The Marriage Mender. Chapters four and eight)
Accepting Conflict
Couples don't fight because they don't like each other, but because they do.
Conflict is natural. If people live together, they will experience conflict.
We are each made differently. Each family member has a built-in need to protect their uniqueness.
Conflicts arise out of personal values, beliefs, and needs.
Conflict is something to be resolved, not something to be avoided.
Conflict in families is an opportunity to recognize each other's needs and uniqueness and to celebrate differences.
Conflict is an opportunity to grow closer together.
Making your marriage and family a place of safety
We are created with a defense system to protect us from danger. This doesn't always help us form intimate relationships.
When conflict occurs in marriage, there is fear... of being emotionally wounded, of losing our mate, of our weaknesses being exposed.
You fight because you don't feel safe. When you and your spouse hiss at each other like threatened animals, you must lessen the threat.
What does safety look like?
It starts with respect...partners take time to listen, understand and respond.
Partners are there for each other.
Solutions
Decide to disarm.
Write it down and contract to being a safer partner.
Open closed hearts and minds to each others needs.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WORKSHOP III. SEEING THROUGH THE CLOUDS - CLEAR COMMUNICATION
(The Marriage Mender - Chapters five and six)
Words have power. Choose them carefully.
Words can hurt, injure, anger and alienate or they can heal, help, comfort and soothe.
"We are always communicating. It is impossible not to communicate... The irritable look, the silence, the lack of touch - all of these communicate".
Anger
Anger keeps many couples from expressing feelings. Anger is a shield for other emotions we don't know how to express, such as hurt, fear, sadness or tiredness.
Active Listening
We cannot overestimate the need that people have to be truly listened to. We all need to feel that we are heard, without being judged or criticized.
Active listening involves context and content.
Context includes paying attention to the message conveyed by nonverbal signals: body language, facial expression, voice tone, and inflection. (This requires putting down the newspaper or turning away from the television.)
Content requires reflection on the meaning of what was said.
Restatement
Effective listening involves restating to the person your understanding of what you heard. Restatement allows a person to feel that he or she has been heard.
The B-E-A-R method. An exercise for couples
Choose a recent event that caused you to experience some emotion toward your spouse and complete the four components.
B - (Behavior) Describe the behavior
E - (Emotion) Describe the feeling you had about the behavior.
A - (Alternative) Describe an alternative behavior you would have preferred.
R - (Result) Describe the consequence resulting from your requested alternative.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WORKSHOP IV - RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE - CREATING INTIMACY
(The Marriage Mender - Chapters eight, nine and ten)
Develop habits in your marriage to learn effective conflict resolution skills.
Win-win situations- Find ways in which both of you can win each conflict.
De-escalate -When conflicts arise agree on a gesture indicating that a timeout is needed. The person calling timeout is responsible for making a return appointment to continue the discussion.
Accentuate the positive - Research shows that it takes 5 or more positive compliments to overcome a negative. Compliment your spouse on what he or she is doing right. Do it often.
Use what works - Make a list of ways that have worked in the past to overcome conflicts.
Stop doing what doesn't work - Don't continue 'the same old song and dance' if it isn't working. Try a new dance step.
Keep the big picture in mind - Keep a realistic view of where you have been and where you are headed and the good things about your relationship. Write them down.
It takes time - Encourage each other as you develop new skills.
Pursue forgiveness
Forgiveness - takes a spirit of humility,
- requires hard work
- needs time
- requires an open spirit
- is a continuing process.
CELEBRATE!
Go out to dinner, take a mini-vacation, make love - find some way to recognize your successes in relationships.
=======================
References
1. Social Problems for the Twenty-First Century. J. John Palen. McGraw Hill.
2001:278
2. Mace, David. Building Better Marriages. Association for Couples in
Marriage Enrichment. March-April 2003. Vol. 32. No 2. pg.1.
3. *McManus, Mike. Marriage Savers. www.marriagesavers.org.
*Baumgarnder, Julie. "Marriage First: How a city restored families".Focus on the
Family. August 2006. pgs 16-17.
4. Whiteman, Ph.D., Thomas A. and Thomas G. Bartlett, Ph.D. The Marriage Mender:
A Couple's Guide for Staying Together. 1996. Navpress.
5. Singin' In The Rain. 1929. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer,Inc. Lyrics by Arthur
Freed. Music by Nacio Herb Brown.
6. Suddenly There's a Valley.1955.Warman Music.by Chuck Meyer & Biff Jones.
7. You'll Never Walk Alone. MCMXLV. Williamson Music, Inc. Words by Oscar
Hammerstein. Music by Richards Rodgers.
8. Sing a Rainbow. 1955. Mark VII Music. Words and Music by Arthur
Hamilton.
"America has the highest rate of marriage of any industrialized nation...(and) the highest divorce rate in the world. Most of the world views the American pattern of marriage and divorce not as a model to be copied but as a disaster to be avoided."1.
David Mace, the founder of the Organization for Couples in Marriage Enrichment, stated, "I believe we must find ways to kindle new hope in them that their marriages can really be much more satisfying and rewarding." 2. Marriage enrichment is not therapy or counseling. Rather it is educational and learning exercises in better communication skills.
Communities across the country are beginning to realize the need for education in marriage and family relationships. Churches, civic groups and schools are providing classes and seminars for couples and parents to learn the importance of family and to learn skills to stay connected. 3.
There are many resources available to help organize programs for marriage enrichment.
This workshop, conducted within a church setting, was guided by discussions and exercises found in the book: The Marriage Mender: A Couple's Guide to Staying Together. 4.
Thoughtful popular songs were used throughout the program.
======================================================
A Workshop for Marriage Enrichment:
HOW'S THE WEATHER INSIDE? GETTING TO SUNSHINE THROUGH THE STORM.
Every marriage has many storms to weather as life progresses and changes. Marriage enrichment activities develop skills in affirming each other, conflict resolution and communication.
9:00 Opening Session/ Introduction'
Song: Singin'in the Rain -"I'm laughing at clouds so dark up above.
The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love."5.
9:30 Workshop I - Charting the Storms and Clouds / Rainbows and Sunshine
Song: Suddenly There's a Valley - "When a storm hides the distant rainbow, and you think you can't find a friend" 6.
10:45 Break
11:00 Workshop II - Calming the Storm - Conflict Resolution Skills
Song: You'll Never Walk Alone - "When you walk through a storm hold your head up high". 7.
12:15 Lunch
1:15 Workshop III. Seeing Through the Clouds - Clear Communication
Song: Sing a Rainbow -"Listen with your eyes and sing everything you see." 8.
2:30 Break
2:45 Workshop IV - Rainbows and Sunshine - Creating Intimacy
3:45 Concluding Thoughts
======================================================
WORKSHOP I. CHARTING THE STORMS AND CLOUDS / RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE
(The Marriage Mender - Chapters one and two)
Couple exercise.
Each person, anonymously, makes a list of 3 serious problems and 3 valuable assets in their marital relationship. The lists are turned in and written on overhead charts for future discussion and reference. This exercise helps husbands and wives realize that many of their experiences are common to other couples.
Expectations
We enter marriage with many myths about what marriage should be: 'my mate will always love me, share my values, and understand my feelings and needs'.
Then we wake up to discover, "I didn't marry myself!"
Our problems come from 3 areas of differences:
* opposites attract
* men and women are different
* each partner comes from a different family-of-origen.
Unrealistic expectations can lead to resentment and anger unless they are realistically examined and discussed.
Three inevitable stages of love and marriage:
Infatuation - Negotiation- Mature Love
Romance and infatuation
This is a wonderful period in a relationship. It allows for the bonding and attachment necessary for a marriage to take place. A feeling of 'US' pervades.
TV, movies, music, and romance novels deceive us into thinking that love will always be exciting and unconditional.
Romance is a transient stage that we move through into the stage of negotiation.
Negotiation
This stage occurs when the partners realize that they are not getting all their needs met. A feeling of 'ME' occurs when expectations are shattered and energized conflict develops. A committed process of communication, listening, compromise and forgiveness is required to work through the differences.
Without a concerted effort to understand and grow together, destructive patterns lead to stalemate, boredom, and autonomy, or separation and divorce.
Mature Love
Mature love requires the commitment to appreciate each other's uniqueness, to communicate, and be flexible enough to meet each other's needs. The feeling of 'US' returns as each partner accepts the responsibility to honor and appreciate differences and work through the give and take of daily activities.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WORKSHOP II - CALMING THE STORM - CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS
(The Marriage Mender. Chapters four and eight)
Accepting Conflict
Couples don't fight because they don't like each other, but because they do.
Conflict is natural. If people live together, they will experience conflict.
We are each made differently. Each family member has a built-in need to protect their uniqueness.
Conflicts arise out of personal values, beliefs, and needs.
Conflict is something to be resolved, not something to be avoided.
Conflict in families is an opportunity to recognize each other's needs and uniqueness and to celebrate differences.
Conflict is an opportunity to grow closer together.
Making your marriage and family a place of safety
We are created with a defense system to protect us from danger. This doesn't always help us form intimate relationships.
When conflict occurs in marriage, there is fear... of being emotionally wounded, of losing our mate, of our weaknesses being exposed.
You fight because you don't feel safe. When you and your spouse hiss at each other like threatened animals, you must lessen the threat.
What does safety look like?
It starts with respect...partners take time to listen, understand and respond.
Partners are there for each other.
Solutions
Decide to disarm.
Write it down and contract to being a safer partner.
Open closed hearts and minds to each others needs.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WORKSHOP III. SEEING THROUGH THE CLOUDS - CLEAR COMMUNICATION
(The Marriage Mender - Chapters five and six)
Words have power. Choose them carefully.
Words can hurt, injure, anger and alienate or they can heal, help, comfort and soothe.
"We are always communicating. It is impossible not to communicate... The irritable look, the silence, the lack of touch - all of these communicate".
Anger
Anger keeps many couples from expressing feelings. Anger is a shield for other emotions we don't know how to express, such as hurt, fear, sadness or tiredness.
Active Listening
We cannot overestimate the need that people have to be truly listened to. We all need to feel that we are heard, without being judged or criticized.
Active listening involves context and content.
Context includes paying attention to the message conveyed by nonverbal signals: body language, facial expression, voice tone, and inflection. (This requires putting down the newspaper or turning away from the television.)
Content requires reflection on the meaning of what was said.
Restatement
Effective listening involves restating to the person your understanding of what you heard. Restatement allows a person to feel that he or she has been heard.
The B-E-A-R method. An exercise for couples
Choose a recent event that caused you to experience some emotion toward your spouse and complete the four components.
B - (Behavior) Describe the behavior
E - (Emotion) Describe the feeling you had about the behavior.
A - (Alternative) Describe an alternative behavior you would have preferred.
R - (Result) Describe the consequence resulting from your requested alternative.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WORKSHOP IV - RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE - CREATING INTIMACY
(The Marriage Mender - Chapters eight, nine and ten)
Develop habits in your marriage to learn effective conflict resolution skills.
Win-win situations- Find ways in which both of you can win each conflict.
De-escalate -When conflicts arise agree on a gesture indicating that a timeout is needed. The person calling timeout is responsible for making a return appointment to continue the discussion.
Accentuate the positive - Research shows that it takes 5 or more positive compliments to overcome a negative. Compliment your spouse on what he or she is doing right. Do it often.
Use what works - Make a list of ways that have worked in the past to overcome conflicts.
Stop doing what doesn't work - Don't continue 'the same old song and dance' if it isn't working. Try a new dance step.
Keep the big picture in mind - Keep a realistic view of where you have been and where you are headed and the good things about your relationship. Write them down.
It takes time - Encourage each other as you develop new skills.
Pursue forgiveness
Forgiveness - takes a spirit of humility,
- requires hard work
- needs time
- requires an open spirit
- is a continuing process.
CELEBRATE!
Go out to dinner, take a mini-vacation, make love - find some way to recognize your successes in relationships.
=======================
References
1. Social Problems for the Twenty-First Century. J. John Palen. McGraw Hill.
2001:278
2. Mace, David. Building Better Marriages. Association for Couples in
Marriage Enrichment. March-April 2003. Vol. 32. No 2. pg.1.
3. *McManus, Mike. Marriage Savers. www.marriagesavers.org.
*Baumgarnder, Julie. "Marriage First: How a city restored families".Focus on the
Family. August 2006. pgs 16-17.
4. Whiteman, Ph.D., Thomas A. and Thomas G. Bartlett, Ph.D. The Marriage Mender:
A Couple's Guide for Staying Together. 1996. Navpress.
5. Singin' In The Rain. 1929. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer,Inc. Lyrics by Arthur
Freed. Music by Nacio Herb Brown.
6. Suddenly There's a Valley.1955.Warman Music.by Chuck Meyer & Biff Jones.
7. You'll Never Walk Alone. MCMXLV. Williamson Music, Inc. Words by Oscar
Hammerstein. Music by Richards Rodgers.
8. Sing a Rainbow. 1955. Mark VII Music. Words and Music by Arthur
Hamilton.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
It Pays to Enrich Your Marriage and Family!
We're losing it!
Too many of us have already lost it!
As our homes and families dissolve in angry confrontations and/or divorce, we're
losing too much of value.
I'm out of here!
The development of no-fault divorce laws in the 1970's made it easy to end a marriage. Increasingly, people found it easier to leave a marriage than to work through even natural and normal problems of family disagreement. Divorce often, even usually, leaves one partner feeling betrayed and the children feeling rejected and deserted.
Don't lose it!
The majority of Americans continues to find their greatest sources of nurture, support, and meaning within their family experiences. Strong marriages build a strong foundation for parenting children.
LET'S INVEST IN MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT.1.
Today's marriages must be held together from the inside - by the actions of the partners themselves.
Marriages have to be strong enough to withstand the stress and lifetime of changes that occur during adulthood.
In addition, most couples have high expectations for their marriages. They expect joy and fulfillment - not just survival.
Excellent marriages do not just happen.
It's a decision to 'make our love last'.
Marriage enrichment is the process of making marriage better, happier and more satisfying. Marriage enrichment activities develop skills in affirming each other, conflict resolution and caring communication.
Learning to Love!
Marriage enrichment is different from marriage counseling or therapy. It's an educational learning process. By taking a growth and educational approach rather than treatment, marriage enrichment can benefit any couple.
An excellent source for information on programs and processes of marriage enrichment can be found at www.bettermarriages.org. This is the website of the Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment.
Check it out!
Marriage enrichment is the best investment you can make for yourself, your future, your children, and your family!.
1. "Building Better Marriages." Brochure of ACME. Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment. Winston Salem, NC. www.bettermarriages.org.
Too many of us have already lost it!
As our homes and families dissolve in angry confrontations and/or divorce, we're
losing too much of value.
I'm out of here!
The development of no-fault divorce laws in the 1970's made it easy to end a marriage. Increasingly, people found it easier to leave a marriage than to work through even natural and normal problems of family disagreement. Divorce often, even usually, leaves one partner feeling betrayed and the children feeling rejected and deserted.
Don't lose it!
The majority of Americans continues to find their greatest sources of nurture, support, and meaning within their family experiences. Strong marriages build a strong foundation for parenting children.
LET'S INVEST IN MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT.1.
Today's marriages must be held together from the inside - by the actions of the partners themselves.
Marriages have to be strong enough to withstand the stress and lifetime of changes that occur during adulthood.
In addition, most couples have high expectations for their marriages. They expect joy and fulfillment - not just survival.
Excellent marriages do not just happen.
It's a decision to 'make our love last'.
Marriage enrichment is the process of making marriage better, happier and more satisfying. Marriage enrichment activities develop skills in affirming each other, conflict resolution and caring communication.
Learning to Love!
Marriage enrichment is different from marriage counseling or therapy. It's an educational learning process. By taking a growth and educational approach rather than treatment, marriage enrichment can benefit any couple.
An excellent source for information on programs and processes of marriage enrichment can be found at www.bettermarriages.org. This is the website of the Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment.
Check it out!
Marriage enrichment is the best investment you can make for yourself, your future, your children, and your family!.
1. "Building Better Marriages." Brochure of ACME. Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment. Winston Salem, NC. www.bettermarriages.org.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The High Cost of Marriage Breakdown in America
The breakdown of marriage in America has become our most critical social problem.
Since the beginning of recorded history, marriage has been a universal human institution. Marriage creates kinship obligations, resource pooling, and the reproduction of children, families and society. Marriage offers an expectation of sexual fidelity and lifelong commitment which supports happier, healthier and less violent relationships. 1.
Over the last 40 years we have moved away from support and expectation of marriage in America. Divorce, out-of-wedlock childbearing, and co-habiting have become normalized as alternative lifestyles.
A report released in 2005 entitled, Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition: Twenty-Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences states, "In 1960, more than 67percent of adults were married, whereas today fewer than 56 percent are married...These trends are even more dramatic in minority and lower income communities." 2.
Increases in divorce, single-parent families and children born out-of-wedlock are creating expensive personal and social tragedies as commitment to family as a social institution is replaced by self-orientation.
COST TO TAXPAYERS - $112 BILLION A YEAR
On April 15th, 2008 a landmark scholarly study was released entitled The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First-ever Estimates for the Nation and All 50 States. This report quantifies a minimum $112 billion annual taxpayer cost from high rates of divorce and unmarried childbearing. 3.
Ben Scafidi,Ph.D., the principle investigator of the study and economics professor at Georgia College & State University states, "These costs are due to increased taxpayer expenditures for anti-poverty, criminal justice and education programs, and through lower levels of taxes paid by individuals whose adult productivity has been negatively affected..."
Dr. David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values, notes, "Even a small improvement in the health of marriage in America would result in enormous savings...a 1 percent reduction in rates of family fragmentation would save taxpayers $1.1 billion."
DIVORCE
Divorce was once considered a last resort. It is now viewed as a liberating even creative experience, a means of finding oneself. However, we've seriously underestimated the long-term impact of divorce on children.
By almost every measure, children of divorce fare worse than their peers in intact families. The supportive network of family and friends is shattered. 4.
Millions of Americans have experienced the tragedies of divorce.
BORN OUT-OF-WEDLOCK
In 1960, 5 percent of children were born out-of-wedlock. In 2005, 34 percent of children were born outside of marriage. 5.
More and more American children are growing up with little experience of married life and little confidence that they could or want to be in satisfying marriage relationships.
WHERE'S DAD?
On June 15th (2008), many Americans honored their fathers on Father's Day. Fatherhood privileges children by providing physical protection, material resources, paternal cultural transmission, and day-to-day nurturing. 6.
However, 40 percent of children now live in a home without a father present. Men are increasingly leaving or being left out of family relationships. Fatherhood, the most socializing and civilizing role for men, is now often defined as a check in the mail, a weekend visit, or 'no dad at all'. This is a tragedy for both the fathers and the children.
Married men have lower rates of alcohol consumption and drug use, longer life expectancy, better health, and lower rates of injury, illness and disability. 7.
CONCLUSIONS FROM SOCIAL RESEARCH 8.
Research underscores time and again that one man and one woman joining together in a
permanent loving union is the best environment for raising healthy productive children.
The two parent home is a strong predictor of who will escape poverty.
Increases in child poverty since 1970 can be attributed to divorce and non-marital childbearing. (pg.19)
Cohabiting unions are much less stable than married unions. Cohabiting parents spend, on average, more income on alcohol and tobacco. (pg 13)
Children of unwed parents are more likely to have lower grades and to drop out of high school. (pg.22)
Children of divorced parents have higher rates of psychological distress, mental illness and increased rates of suicide. (pg 27)
Single or cohabiting mothers have higher rates of depression. Single mothers are overburdened by parenting alone. Cohabiting mothers are less confident that their relationship will last. (pg. 28)
Boys raised in single-parent families are more likely to engage in delinquent and criminal behaviors. (pg. 29)
Children not living with their two married parents are at greater risk for child abuse. (pg. 31)
MARRIAGE MATTERS
Marriage is more than a personal decision or an emotional relationship. Leading scholars from across the human sciences and across political perspectives who make up the Institute for American Values concur that "a healthy marriage culture is clearly a matter of legitimate public concern". In their report, Marriage Matters, they outline three fundamental conclusions. 9.
1. Marriage is an important social good, associated with...positive
outcomes for children and adults alike.
2. Marriage is an important public good, associated with a range
of economic, health, educational, and safety benefits...
3. The benefits of marriage extend to poor and minority communities,
even though marriage is fragile there.
A VISION FOR MARRIAGE RENEWAL
The weakening of marriage as an institution has been a fundamental factor contributing to the deteriorating well-being of adults and children and to an increase in poverty, especially for women and children.
As a society we need to move into a pro-active direction toward marriage support, marriage enrichment and family nurture. Joining hands, we can create a vision to strenthen and nurture family relationships, build stronger marriages and equip parents to raise their children surrounded by enduring love and support.
Let's start today!
We can do this!
YES WE CAN!
REFERENCES:
1. Institute for American Values. Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition: Twenty-six
Conclusions from the Social Sciences. New York, NY. 2005:pg. 15. www.americanvalues.org.
2. Ibid. pg. 5.
3. Weber, Sheila, Director of Communication, Institute for American Values.
"Marriage Breakdown Cost Taxpayers at Least $112 Billion a Year". April 15,
2008. Sheila@americanvalues.org.
4. "Divorce: The Pain That Doesn't Go Away". Family Voice. July/August, 2001, pg 1.
5. Institute for American Values. pg. 5.
6. Blankenhorn, David. Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social
Problem. NY: Harper Perennial. 1996.
7. Institute for American Values. pgs. 24-25.
8. Institute for American Values. Why Marriage Matters...
9. Institute for American Values. pg. 9.
Since the beginning of recorded history, marriage has been a universal human institution. Marriage creates kinship obligations, resource pooling, and the reproduction of children, families and society. Marriage offers an expectation of sexual fidelity and lifelong commitment which supports happier, healthier and less violent relationships. 1.
Over the last 40 years we have moved away from support and expectation of marriage in America. Divorce, out-of-wedlock childbearing, and co-habiting have become normalized as alternative lifestyles.
A report released in 2005 entitled, Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition: Twenty-Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences states, "In 1960, more than 67percent of adults were married, whereas today fewer than 56 percent are married...These trends are even more dramatic in minority and lower income communities." 2.
Increases in divorce, single-parent families and children born out-of-wedlock are creating expensive personal and social tragedies as commitment to family as a social institution is replaced by self-orientation.
COST TO TAXPAYERS - $112 BILLION A YEAR
On April 15th, 2008 a landmark scholarly study was released entitled The Taxpayer Costs of Divorce and Unwed Childbearing: First-ever Estimates for the Nation and All 50 States. This report quantifies a minimum $112 billion annual taxpayer cost from high rates of divorce and unmarried childbearing. 3.
Ben Scafidi,Ph.D., the principle investigator of the study and economics professor at Georgia College & State University states, "These costs are due to increased taxpayer expenditures for anti-poverty, criminal justice and education programs, and through lower levels of taxes paid by individuals whose adult productivity has been negatively affected..."
Dr. David Blankenhorn, president of the Institute for American Values, notes, "Even a small improvement in the health of marriage in America would result in enormous savings...a 1 percent reduction in rates of family fragmentation would save taxpayers $1.1 billion."
DIVORCE
Divorce was once considered a last resort. It is now viewed as a liberating even creative experience, a means of finding oneself. However, we've seriously underestimated the long-term impact of divorce on children.
By almost every measure, children of divorce fare worse than their peers in intact families. The supportive network of family and friends is shattered. 4.
Millions of Americans have experienced the tragedies of divorce.
BORN OUT-OF-WEDLOCK
In 1960, 5 percent of children were born out-of-wedlock. In 2005, 34 percent of children were born outside of marriage. 5.
More and more American children are growing up with little experience of married life and little confidence that they could or want to be in satisfying marriage relationships.
WHERE'S DAD?
On June 15th (2008), many Americans honored their fathers on Father's Day. Fatherhood privileges children by providing physical protection, material resources, paternal cultural transmission, and day-to-day nurturing. 6.
However, 40 percent of children now live in a home without a father present. Men are increasingly leaving or being left out of family relationships. Fatherhood, the most socializing and civilizing role for men, is now often defined as a check in the mail, a weekend visit, or 'no dad at all'. This is a tragedy for both the fathers and the children.
Married men have lower rates of alcohol consumption and drug use, longer life expectancy, better health, and lower rates of injury, illness and disability. 7.
CONCLUSIONS FROM SOCIAL RESEARCH 8.
Research underscores time and again that one man and one woman joining together in a
permanent loving union is the best environment for raising healthy productive children.
The two parent home is a strong predictor of who will escape poverty.
Increases in child poverty since 1970 can be attributed to divorce and non-marital childbearing. (pg.19)
Cohabiting unions are much less stable than married unions. Cohabiting parents spend, on average, more income on alcohol and tobacco. (pg 13)
Children of unwed parents are more likely to have lower grades and to drop out of high school. (pg.22)
Children of divorced parents have higher rates of psychological distress, mental illness and increased rates of suicide. (pg 27)
Single or cohabiting mothers have higher rates of depression. Single mothers are overburdened by parenting alone. Cohabiting mothers are less confident that their relationship will last. (pg. 28)
Boys raised in single-parent families are more likely to engage in delinquent and criminal behaviors. (pg. 29)
Children not living with their two married parents are at greater risk for child abuse. (pg. 31)
MARRIAGE MATTERS
Marriage is more than a personal decision or an emotional relationship. Leading scholars from across the human sciences and across political perspectives who make up the Institute for American Values concur that "a healthy marriage culture is clearly a matter of legitimate public concern". In their report, Marriage Matters, they outline three fundamental conclusions. 9.
1. Marriage is an important social good, associated with...positive
outcomes for children and adults alike.
2. Marriage is an important public good, associated with a range
of economic, health, educational, and safety benefits...
3. The benefits of marriage extend to poor and minority communities,
even though marriage is fragile there.
A VISION FOR MARRIAGE RENEWAL
The weakening of marriage as an institution has been a fundamental factor contributing to the deteriorating well-being of adults and children and to an increase in poverty, especially for women and children.
As a society we need to move into a pro-active direction toward marriage support, marriage enrichment and family nurture. Joining hands, we can create a vision to strenthen and nurture family relationships, build stronger marriages and equip parents to raise their children surrounded by enduring love and support.
Let's start today!
We can do this!
YES WE CAN!
REFERENCES:
1. Institute for American Values. Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition: Twenty-six
Conclusions from the Social Sciences. New York, NY. 2005:pg. 15. www.americanvalues.org.
2. Ibid. pg. 5.
3. Weber, Sheila, Director of Communication, Institute for American Values.
"Marriage Breakdown Cost Taxpayers at Least $112 Billion a Year". April 15,
2008. Sheila@americanvalues.org.
4. "Divorce: The Pain That Doesn't Go Away". Family Voice. July/August, 2001, pg 1.
5. Institute for American Values. pg. 5.
6. Blankenhorn, David. Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social
Problem. NY: Harper Perennial. 1996.
7. Institute for American Values. pgs. 24-25.
8. Institute for American Values. Why Marriage Matters...
9. Institute for American Values. pg. 9.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
A Father's Day Tribute
My Dad (Weston Andrew Hare) would have enjoyed blogging. He liked to write down his musings and observations and share them with his family.
When he was 60, he and Mom (Elizabeth) retired to the old family house in Massachusetts, surrounded by stone wall fences, white birch trees, TALL pine and maple trees, and a pristine lake at the foot of the hills.
The following notes are selections from his "Gnome Gnotebook". He claimed to be 25% Irish, and Elves and Gnomes were often part of his stories.
UNCUT DIAMONDS
The first year I came here (1969) there were very many four-leaf clovers all around the place, it seemed to me.
Also I found in the lower garden a very nice Indian arrow head right on top of the garden. I still find some four leaf clovers, as I always have, but not that many, and I have found no more arrow heads, nor gold nuggets, nor uncut diamonds; tho' I look for them.
LEAF BOUNCERS
If you see a bunch of leaves bouncing like they had cricket legs, look carefully and you'll see a fox sparrow in the middle "kicking it up" as fox sparrows do.
RATS VERSUS SQUIRRELS
The rat has a very bad public image.
But squirrels are quite nice - cute - interesting and also good looking. They have, as far as I am concerned, a very good public image.
Yet squirrels and rats are both rodents - cousins you might say. Why the difference?
A rat is an 'orc' in the domain of the dark lord and has the characteristic of such.
A squirrel is like a 'hobbit' and in the domain of light. Why don't squirrels inhabit city slums, dumps, etc. and become wicked?
It's just not in their nature to do so, that's all.
AND BIRDS
People like birds. Of course people like birds. They are the residuum of the once great and benevolent race of Elves whose greatness has departed. But the echo of their benevolence remains in the songs, the bright color and general amiability of birds.
A tree full of blackbirds sounds a lot like water dropping into a hundred buckets. A bush full of sparrows also sounds pleasant - a 'bush of twitters'.
It would be interesting to make a record by superimposing many different bird calls repeated at random intervals so that a great medley of sound resulted.
(the tuning-up of the birds)
NATURE EMPATHY
To enjoy the course leading to a degree of Doctor of Nature one needs a 'degree' of Nature Empathy.
I seem to be accepted by the other inhabitants of the place to a certain extent. In the spring, twice a chickadee landed on my hand to get a sunflower seed. Moreover, the house sparrows (English Sparrows) out back scold me if I fail to throw them some seeds.
Then yesterday I was dumping some pulled weeds on the compost pile when I felt a thump on my back. It was a chipmunk using my back as a halfway point between the tree and the ground. He was a little embarrassed by his audacity and looked back at me with a SQUEEK as he dashed into a hole in the pile of leaves.
PRETTY THINGS
There are numerous pretty things in the world.
* The monarch chrysalis is certainly one.
* So are Japanese beetles. They may be bad, but here they feed mostly on the sterile grape vines along the wall. So I honor them for their beauty - black and iridescent.
* Bluegills are also very pretty to look at.
There are man-made things also that should be mentioned.
(1) The 'last drop' on the Maxwell House coffee label used to be a real gem of art. I bet it has been redesigned and lost. But the drop used to be colored brown with a little highlight of white with a slightly displaced miniscule red dot. It should have won a prize.
(2) The 5-pack of 'Maestro' cigars of Garcia y Vega has another example of a detail of real art. The name 'Maestro' is in green with a gold edge to the green which is best seen by changing the viewing angle when the green and gold make a most pleasing color combination, so I award the 2nd prize to the Garcia y Vega cigar box.
(Smoking cigars was Dad's only vice so he had a collection of cigar boxes in which he stored interesting things; such as bird feathers, shells, colored stones, stamps, pictures of grandchildren, etc.)
MONARCH BUTTERFLIES
There are a lot of Monarch butterflies this year. Maybe that is why I found a beautiful little chrysalis out in the garden which turned out to be the magic transformation case of a Monarch butterfly. It was a long time since I had considered these items.
This chrysalis was a blue-green waxy case that looked like plastic. It was decorated with a delicately made design of gold dots. Very elegantly made.
I put it away in a jar with grass and in a couple of days (our daughter-in-law) Anita noticed the butterfly coming out. I took pictures of the same and put it out on the Zinnia stalks to dry. The next day we saw it fly away.
No wonder they call these butterflies 'Monarch' since they are transformed in a royal gold-decorated case. I understand all these Monarch butterflies migrate south in the winter.
"So long, your majesties!"
DORMICE
I have heard of dormice through the years (e.g. Alice in Wonderland) but actually only encountered them after retiring to Oxford.
Dormouse means 'sleeping mouse' and refers also to the sleeping quarters they build to sleep in during the cold winter.
I found the first one in the lower garden as I was cleaning up the garden. There was a round ball of woven grass 3" or so in diameter, maybe 1/2" thick, with a sleeping mouse curled up tight inside. There was no hole in the ball. I left him sleeping in the ball. It was about time to awaken, I supposed.
In the fall of the year I found another one, not yet in use but well made with a hole left on the ball maybe 1/2" in diameter. Clearly the mouse if he later went in wove up the hole from the inside.
PIGEONS AND JAYS
I was watching the birds eating seeds out back when a blue jay and a mourning dove flew down to the same seed and bumped into one another.
I heard the blue jay say "Stupid pigeon! Why don't you look where you are going?"
The dove said "Peace! Brother" and waddled away, and the blue jay flew back up onto a branch.
THE FROG VISITOR
Tonight it is raining. I opened the porch door and a frog, sitting on the top step hopped right into the porch and then into the kitchen. I picked him up and told Elizabeth if she would kiss him, he might turn into a Prince. But she would not. So we let him out.
HOW TO LICK A PROBLEM
If you have a new problem, one in which you are in some degree familiar (i.e. not, for instance, like calling up the dead or moving a mountain into the sea), The First Rule must be: Don't Show Fear.
A problem knows when you're afraid of it, and fights twice as hard.
Not only that. All the little demons which are sitting around, and which are not, of themselves antagonists-to-the-solution of the problem, will reuse the fear and will start making trouble for you in their own domains.
All sorts of things can happen. You may stumble over your shadow, leave your keys in a locked house, stall your car and flood it, sit on the McDonald apple tart you have in your pocket, etc., etc.
Normally you would not do any of these things, but your fear has roused many psychic opponents! SO BE CALM, COOL, COLLECTED!
BITS OF WISDOM
The reason wise sayings are so concise: "Better late than never" etc., is because wise men are unable to gain the attention of people for more lengthy discourses.
Beware of those who say the plural of 'person' is 'people'. It is better to say 'persons' and preserve our integrity as individuals. Those who think of trees as timber plan to cut them down.
Beware of molehills. They may be mountains in disguise.
Remember, O Man, what you tolerate, you teach.
The government is a gigantic institution which hires James and John to rob Peter to pay Paul.
A bigot is one whose well-considered principles differ from your own.
I saw in the paper, "A mandate does not depend upon the size of the vote, but on the man himself." In other words, a mandate is when a man (thinks he)has a date with destiny.
It may follow the spirit of the law, but there is not a ghost of a chance that it follows the letter of the law.
LOSS OF AUTHORITY
(Written after I returned from the hospital after my long combat with hyperthyroidism.) I see I've lost a lot of authority since I got sick. Some of my previously obedient servants have deserted me. Specifically, I used to command 210# of gravity. When I jumped on a bale of wire to flatten it, all 210# were there.
But now 50 or so of my servants have left and only 160# still serve me.
My shadow also is diminished, which worries me some, considering the importance of a substantial shadow.
-----------------------
Dad lived to be 89. The last 8 years were struggles with Alzheimers disease.
Your shadow, Dad, remains substantial with those who loved and knew you.
When he was 60, he and Mom (Elizabeth) retired to the old family house in Massachusetts, surrounded by stone wall fences, white birch trees, TALL pine and maple trees, and a pristine lake at the foot of the hills.
The following notes are selections from his "Gnome Gnotebook". He claimed to be 25% Irish, and Elves and Gnomes were often part of his stories.
UNCUT DIAMONDS
The first year I came here (1969) there were very many four-leaf clovers all around the place, it seemed to me.
Also I found in the lower garden a very nice Indian arrow head right on top of the garden. I still find some four leaf clovers, as I always have, but not that many, and I have found no more arrow heads, nor gold nuggets, nor uncut diamonds; tho' I look for them.
LEAF BOUNCERS
If you see a bunch of leaves bouncing like they had cricket legs, look carefully and you'll see a fox sparrow in the middle "kicking it up" as fox sparrows do.
RATS VERSUS SQUIRRELS
The rat has a very bad public image.
But squirrels are quite nice - cute - interesting and also good looking. They have, as far as I am concerned, a very good public image.
Yet squirrels and rats are both rodents - cousins you might say. Why the difference?
A rat is an 'orc' in the domain of the dark lord and has the characteristic of such.
A squirrel is like a 'hobbit' and in the domain of light. Why don't squirrels inhabit city slums, dumps, etc. and become wicked?
It's just not in their nature to do so, that's all.
AND BIRDS
People like birds. Of course people like birds. They are the residuum of the once great and benevolent race of Elves whose greatness has departed. But the echo of their benevolence remains in the songs, the bright color and general amiability of birds.
A tree full of blackbirds sounds a lot like water dropping into a hundred buckets. A bush full of sparrows also sounds pleasant - a 'bush of twitters'.
It would be interesting to make a record by superimposing many different bird calls repeated at random intervals so that a great medley of sound resulted.
(the tuning-up of the birds)
NATURE EMPATHY
To enjoy the course leading to a degree of Doctor of Nature one needs a 'degree' of Nature Empathy.
I seem to be accepted by the other inhabitants of the place to a certain extent. In the spring, twice a chickadee landed on my hand to get a sunflower seed. Moreover, the house sparrows (English Sparrows) out back scold me if I fail to throw them some seeds.
Then yesterday I was dumping some pulled weeds on the compost pile when I felt a thump on my back. It was a chipmunk using my back as a halfway point between the tree and the ground. He was a little embarrassed by his audacity and looked back at me with a SQUEEK as he dashed into a hole in the pile of leaves.
PRETTY THINGS
There are numerous pretty things in the world.
* The monarch chrysalis is certainly one.
* So are Japanese beetles. They may be bad, but here they feed mostly on the sterile grape vines along the wall. So I honor them for their beauty - black and iridescent.
* Bluegills are also very pretty to look at.
There are man-made things also that should be mentioned.
(1) The 'last drop' on the Maxwell House coffee label used to be a real gem of art. I bet it has been redesigned and lost. But the drop used to be colored brown with a little highlight of white with a slightly displaced miniscule red dot. It should have won a prize.
(2) The 5-pack of 'Maestro' cigars of Garcia y Vega has another example of a detail of real art. The name 'Maestro' is in green with a gold edge to the green which is best seen by changing the viewing angle when the green and gold make a most pleasing color combination, so I award the 2nd prize to the Garcia y Vega cigar box.
(Smoking cigars was Dad's only vice so he had a collection of cigar boxes in which he stored interesting things; such as bird feathers, shells, colored stones, stamps, pictures of grandchildren, etc.)
MONARCH BUTTERFLIES
There are a lot of Monarch butterflies this year. Maybe that is why I found a beautiful little chrysalis out in the garden which turned out to be the magic transformation case of a Monarch butterfly. It was a long time since I had considered these items.
This chrysalis was a blue-green waxy case that looked like plastic. It was decorated with a delicately made design of gold dots. Very elegantly made.
I put it away in a jar with grass and in a couple of days (our daughter-in-law) Anita noticed the butterfly coming out. I took pictures of the same and put it out on the Zinnia stalks to dry. The next day we saw it fly away.
No wonder they call these butterflies 'Monarch' since they are transformed in a royal gold-decorated case. I understand all these Monarch butterflies migrate south in the winter.
"So long, your majesties!"
DORMICE
I have heard of dormice through the years (e.g. Alice in Wonderland) but actually only encountered them after retiring to Oxford.
Dormouse means 'sleeping mouse' and refers also to the sleeping quarters they build to sleep in during the cold winter.
I found the first one in the lower garden as I was cleaning up the garden. There was a round ball of woven grass 3" or so in diameter, maybe 1/2" thick, with a sleeping mouse curled up tight inside. There was no hole in the ball. I left him sleeping in the ball. It was about time to awaken, I supposed.
In the fall of the year I found another one, not yet in use but well made with a hole left on the ball maybe 1/2" in diameter. Clearly the mouse if he later went in wove up the hole from the inside.
PIGEONS AND JAYS
I was watching the birds eating seeds out back when a blue jay and a mourning dove flew down to the same seed and bumped into one another.
I heard the blue jay say "Stupid pigeon! Why don't you look where you are going?"
The dove said "Peace! Brother" and waddled away, and the blue jay flew back up onto a branch.
THE FROG VISITOR
Tonight it is raining. I opened the porch door and a frog, sitting on the top step hopped right into the porch and then into the kitchen. I picked him up and told Elizabeth if she would kiss him, he might turn into a Prince. But she would not. So we let him out.
HOW TO LICK A PROBLEM
If you have a new problem, one in which you are in some degree familiar (i.e. not, for instance, like calling up the dead or moving a mountain into the sea), The First Rule must be: Don't Show Fear.
A problem knows when you're afraid of it, and fights twice as hard.
Not only that. All the little demons which are sitting around, and which are not, of themselves antagonists-to-the-solution of the problem, will reuse the fear and will start making trouble for you in their own domains.
All sorts of things can happen. You may stumble over your shadow, leave your keys in a locked house, stall your car and flood it, sit on the McDonald apple tart you have in your pocket, etc., etc.
Normally you would not do any of these things, but your fear has roused many psychic opponents! SO BE CALM, COOL, COLLECTED!
BITS OF WISDOM
The reason wise sayings are so concise: "Better late than never" etc., is because wise men are unable to gain the attention of people for more lengthy discourses.
Beware of those who say the plural of 'person' is 'people'. It is better to say 'persons' and preserve our integrity as individuals. Those who think of trees as timber plan to cut them down.
Beware of molehills. They may be mountains in disguise.
Remember, O Man, what you tolerate, you teach.
The government is a gigantic institution which hires James and John to rob Peter to pay Paul.
A bigot is one whose well-considered principles differ from your own.
I saw in the paper, "A mandate does not depend upon the size of the vote, but on the man himself." In other words, a mandate is when a man (thinks he)has a date with destiny.
It may follow the spirit of the law, but there is not a ghost of a chance that it follows the letter of the law.
LOSS OF AUTHORITY
(Written after I returned from the hospital after my long combat with hyperthyroidism.) I see I've lost a lot of authority since I got sick. Some of my previously obedient servants have deserted me. Specifically, I used to command 210# of gravity. When I jumped on a bale of wire to flatten it, all 210# were there.
But now 50 or so of my servants have left and only 160# still serve me.
My shadow also is diminished, which worries me some, considering the importance of a substantial shadow.
-----------------------
Dad lived to be 89. The last 8 years were struggles with Alzheimers disease.
Your shadow, Dad, remains substantial with those who loved and knew you.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The Endangered Black Family and Our Endangered Culture
Bill Cosby and Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint courageously documented a social tragedy that has concerned social scientists for decades - the breakdown of the black family. In their book, Come On People: On the Path From Victims to Victors, they outline the problem and plead for change.
They conclude: "No more excuses, no more delays. Come on people!" 1.
Breakdown of marriage
In the 1950's, black and white marriage patterns were much alike.
* In 1960, 66% of all black women aged 30-34 were married.
* By 1990, the figure had dropped to 39%. 2.
* Divorce and separation rates for blacks are now 50% higher than for whites. 3.
* In 1950, five out of six black children were born into a two-parent home.
* Now 70% of black children are born outside of marriage. 4.
Consequences of fatherlessness
Fatherhood is the most socializing and civilizing role for men; however, many black men are caught in the cultural demand to 'be cool' and emotionally detached. 5.
The hard truth is that most social problems are the direct consequences of fatherless households.
Children born to unwed mothers are ten times more likely to live in poverty.
Sobering federal statistics report that children from fatherless homes include: 6.
* 63% of teen suicides
* 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions
* 71% of high-school dropouts
* 75% of children in chemical-abuse centers
* 80% of youth in prison
* 85% of children with behavioral disorders
* 90% of homeless and runaway children
The black high school drop-out rate is greater than 50% in many cities, with male drop-out rate higher than female. 7.
Black crime rates
* Close to half of the prison population (now about 2.2 million) are African-American. 8.
* African-Americans are 12% of the population but represent 56% of those arrested for murder and 50% of those arrested for forcible rape and violent crimes.
* Black against black homicide is the leading cause of death among black men ages 16-34.
* One out of every 21 young black men is murdered.
* 32% of all black males ages 20-29 are in jail, prison or on probation or parole. 9.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's)
* In March, 2008 the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported that nearly 50% of black teens had an STD, while 20% of white and Hispanic teens were so affected. 10.
* Black homosexual relationships have led to tragic consequences.
Male-to-male sexual contact (MSM) is the primary cause of HIV/AIDS transmission.
In 2005, AIDS cases in the U.S. for Blacks (20,187) exceeded the number for Whites, Hispanics, Asians and American Indians. combined (19,939). 11.
* Bisexual and heterosexual relationships spread the HIV virus to black women and children. In 2004, HIV infection was the leading cause of death for African-American women aged 35-44. 12.
Black role models
The media has elevated black role models who disdain responsible sexual relationships and marriage.
Black male rappers, particularly gangsta rappers, have churned out a hip, bold, profane style with antisocial, angry, women-hating messages. 13 Success is measured by having as much money and sex as possible. Women are seen as bitches and hos and men as pimps.
In February of 2008, the Bad Boy Entertainment founder, Sean (Puff Daddy) Combs is quoted as saying, "I'm cool, man... I've never been married, never been engaged." Combs has fathered 6 children by 3 different women. 14.
The pop singer, Beyonce, is expanding her house of fashion design to sell a line of clothes to children. Ads present 7 year old girls dressed in bling, leather, lipstick, and heels, seductively
posed to look like tarts. 15.
As the media promote sexuality and pornography, Pimp and Ho Parties are now being promoted as the 'in' way to have fun. 16.
Grief and Frustration
It is with grief and frustration that I consider these tragic statistics because statistics are not numbers. They represent human lives, hurting and failing to reach potential.
In August of 1963, my husband and I lived outside Washington DC. On August 28, a carload from our (white, suburban) church went to the Washington Mall to join the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. We stood with 200,000 people as Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech. We affirmed his concern that people be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
Schools, colleges and universities have opened doors of opportunity to blacks and all Americans. Government and charitable organizations have provided assistance for food, clothing and housing for those needing a hand up.
From Victim to Responsible Citizen
I join the cry of Bill Cosby and Alvin Poussaint when they say,
"No more excuses, no more delays. Come on people!
I add the call to move from victims to responsible citizens!
References
1. Cosby, Bill and Alvin F. Poussaint, MD. Come On People - on the Path From Victims to Victors. Thomas Nelson. Nashville. 2007.
2. Palen, J. John. Social Problems for the Twenty-First Century. McGraw Hill Pub. 2001:291.
3. Cosby, pg. 17.
4. Cosby, pgs. 2,14.
5. Cosby, pg. 11
6. Alexander, Mark M. "Fatherless in America." June 17,2005. www.townhall.com/Common.
7. Cosby, pg. 108.
8. Cosby, pg. 192.
9. Palen, pgs. 342,243.
10. The Associated Press. March 11, 2008. "1 in 4 teen girls has at least one STD". http://www.msnbc.com/id/23574940.
11. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/print/basic.htm. 9/8/2007.
12. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets. Revised June 2007.
13. Cosby, pgs. 12,16,119.
14. Brady, James. "In Step with Sean Combs." Parade Magazine. February 24, 2008. page 26.
15. www.parentdish.com/2008/05/12/beyonce-sexing-up-childresn-clothing.
16. www.ehow.com/how_2067020-throw-pimp-ho-party.html.
They conclude: "No more excuses, no more delays. Come on people!" 1.
Breakdown of marriage
In the 1950's, black and white marriage patterns were much alike.
* In 1960, 66% of all black women aged 30-34 were married.
* By 1990, the figure had dropped to 39%. 2.
* Divorce and separation rates for blacks are now 50% higher than for whites. 3.
* In 1950, five out of six black children were born into a two-parent home.
* Now 70% of black children are born outside of marriage. 4.
Consequences of fatherlessness
Fatherhood is the most socializing and civilizing role for men; however, many black men are caught in the cultural demand to 'be cool' and emotionally detached. 5.
The hard truth is that most social problems are the direct consequences of fatherless households.
Children born to unwed mothers are ten times more likely to live in poverty.
Sobering federal statistics report that children from fatherless homes include: 6.
* 63% of teen suicides
* 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions
* 71% of high-school dropouts
* 75% of children in chemical-abuse centers
* 80% of youth in prison
* 85% of children with behavioral disorders
* 90% of homeless and runaway children
The black high school drop-out rate is greater than 50% in many cities, with male drop-out rate higher than female. 7.
Black crime rates
* Close to half of the prison population (now about 2.2 million) are African-American. 8.
* African-Americans are 12% of the population but represent 56% of those arrested for murder and 50% of those arrested for forcible rape and violent crimes.
* Black against black homicide is the leading cause of death among black men ages 16-34.
* One out of every 21 young black men is murdered.
* 32% of all black males ages 20-29 are in jail, prison or on probation or parole. 9.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's)
* In March, 2008 the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported that nearly 50% of black teens had an STD, while 20% of white and Hispanic teens were so affected. 10.
* Black homosexual relationships have led to tragic consequences.
Male-to-male sexual contact (MSM) is the primary cause of HIV/AIDS transmission.
In 2005, AIDS cases in the U.S. for Blacks (20,187) exceeded the number for Whites, Hispanics, Asians and American Indians. combined (19,939). 11.
* Bisexual and heterosexual relationships spread the HIV virus to black women and children. In 2004, HIV infection was the leading cause of death for African-American women aged 35-44. 12.
Black role models
The media has elevated black role models who disdain responsible sexual relationships and marriage.
Black male rappers, particularly gangsta rappers, have churned out a hip, bold, profane style with antisocial, angry, women-hating messages. 13 Success is measured by having as much money and sex as possible. Women are seen as bitches and hos and men as pimps.
In February of 2008, the Bad Boy Entertainment founder, Sean (Puff Daddy) Combs is quoted as saying, "I'm cool, man... I've never been married, never been engaged." Combs has fathered 6 children by 3 different women. 14.
The pop singer, Beyonce, is expanding her house of fashion design to sell a line of clothes to children. Ads present 7 year old girls dressed in bling, leather, lipstick, and heels, seductively
posed to look like tarts. 15.
As the media promote sexuality and pornography, Pimp and Ho Parties are now being promoted as the 'in' way to have fun. 16.
Grief and Frustration
It is with grief and frustration that I consider these tragic statistics because statistics are not numbers. They represent human lives, hurting and failing to reach potential.
In August of 1963, my husband and I lived outside Washington DC. On August 28, a carload from our (white, suburban) church went to the Washington Mall to join the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. We stood with 200,000 people as Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech. We affirmed his concern that people be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
Schools, colleges and universities have opened doors of opportunity to blacks and all Americans. Government and charitable organizations have provided assistance for food, clothing and housing for those needing a hand up.
From Victim to Responsible Citizen
I join the cry of Bill Cosby and Alvin Poussaint when they say,
"No more excuses, no more delays. Come on people!
I add the call to move from victims to responsible citizens!
References
1. Cosby, Bill and Alvin F. Poussaint, MD. Come On People - on the Path From Victims to Victors. Thomas Nelson. Nashville. 2007.
2. Palen, J. John. Social Problems for the Twenty-First Century. McGraw Hill Pub. 2001:291.
3. Cosby, pg. 17.
4. Cosby, pgs. 2,14.
5. Cosby, pg. 11
6. Alexander, Mark M. "Fatherless in America." June 17,2005. www.townhall.com/Common.
7. Cosby, pg. 108.
8. Cosby, pg. 192.
9. Palen, pgs. 342,243.
10. The Associated Press. March 11, 2008. "1 in 4 teen girls has at least one STD". http://www.msnbc.com/id/23574940.
11. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/print/basic.htm. 9/8/2007.
12. http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/women/resources/factsheets. Revised June 2007.
13. Cosby, pgs. 12,16,119.
14. Brady, James. "In Step with Sean Combs." Parade Magazine. February 24, 2008. page 26.
15. www.parentdish.com/2008/05/12/beyonce-sexing-up-childresn-clothing.
16. www.ehow.com/how_2067020-throw-pimp-ho-party.html.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
The Con in Condom: Safe Sex!
SAFE. 1. Free from harm or risk, unhurt
2. Secure from threat of danger, harm or loss
Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. Eleventh edition (2007) Pg. 1095
In the last 30 years condoms have claimed to be the savior of sexuality by providing safe sex or safer sex. Condoms are being sold and distributed around the world as the solution to casual sexual behaviors in preventing pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
Really!
What are the odds?
In best case scenarios of condom use, approximately 3% of couples who used condoms consistently and correctly experience an unintended pregnancy during the first year of use. 1.
However, consistent and correct use does not represent typical use of condoms.
Consistency is defined as using a condom at every act of sexual intercourse. Correct use means "using undamaged, unexpired condoms, using only water-based lubricants, careful opening of the package, correct placement and use throughout intercourse, and correct removal of the condom after ejaculation." 2.
Typical condom use is more accurately represented by a failure rate of 14%, accounting for inconsistent and incorrect use as well as breakage and slippage. Use factors such as experience, condom size and use of lubricant can affect slippage and breakage. 3.
A study involving 26,291 homosexual men, heterosexual men and heterosexual women who visited the University of Colorado's clinic in Denver over a two year period reported that 57% of the women, 48% of the heterosexual men and 33% of the homosexual men reported condom error. 4
Efficacy rates for condom use is generally reported for pregnancy. However, rates for sexually transmitted diseases vary by disease.
Condoms do not prevent transmission of the human papillomavirus, which is the leading cause of cervical cancer. 5.
Condoms may reduce risk of HIV infection by approximately 69%. 6.
Between The Lines, Michigan's statewide gay newspaper, reports that the risk of anal cancer increases by nearly 4,000% for men who have sex with men. They state that a condom only offers limited protection against developing anal cancer." 7.
HIGH ODDS OF 'ACCIDENT'
What do these efficacy rates mean in terms of human numbers?
Would you get into an automobile or a plane with these odds??????
Suppose, for example, that 20 million people used condoms for 'protection'.
By the best case of 3% failure rate, 600,000 people will experience failure.
How can we envision the immensity of this number? A typical arena for an NBA game holds about 20,000 people. It would take 30 arenas filled to capacity to hold the people in this sample of 20 million who failed to be 'safe' using a condom.
By the typical use rate of 14% failure, 2,800,000 people will be 'unpleasantly surprised'.
That's TWO MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND! Now we're talking about 140 arenas of 20,000 people.
SEDUCTION OF THE YOUNG
Many of us remember when sex was treated with respect and awe because it was the behavior that created new life.
Sex was treated with concern because of the serious diseases that were spread through this behavior.
Sex was not a toy to be experimented with and played with by children.
Sexuality was a sacred behavior to be saved and 'kept safe' for marriage and family.
However, in the last 30 years sexual behavior has been 'sold' to the young as a choice or an option of behavior. Condom companies have introduced their products within the school system with instructions as to its use.
In November of 1991, the New York City high schools inaugurated the first large-scale condom distribution program in the nation. Under a cloak of secrecy, condoms were made available to students, even if their parents objected. 8.
Donated by Carter-Wallace, maker of the Trojan brand of condom, and Schmid Laboratories, the maker of Ramses, 500 or 1,000 boxes of condoms were delivered to each school. A pamphlet explaining how to use the condom was included and teachers also provided instruction. Teachers were taught how to avoid discouraging students who wanted a condom, while reminding them that 'abstinence is a viable option'. 9.
By 1997, 418 public schools made condoms available to students. 10.
2. Secure from threat of danger, harm or loss
Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. Eleventh edition (2007) Pg. 1095
In the last 30 years condoms have claimed to be the savior of sexuality by providing safe sex or safer sex. Condoms are being sold and distributed around the world as the solution to casual sexual behaviors in preventing pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
Really!
What are the odds?
In best case scenarios of condom use, approximately 3% of couples who used condoms consistently and correctly experience an unintended pregnancy during the first year of use. 1.
However, consistent and correct use does not represent typical use of condoms.
Consistency is defined as using a condom at every act of sexual intercourse. Correct use means "using undamaged, unexpired condoms, using only water-based lubricants, careful opening of the package, correct placement and use throughout intercourse, and correct removal of the condom after ejaculation." 2.
Typical condom use is more accurately represented by a failure rate of 14%, accounting for inconsistent and incorrect use as well as breakage and slippage. Use factors such as experience, condom size and use of lubricant can affect slippage and breakage. 3.
A study involving 26,291 homosexual men, heterosexual men and heterosexual women who visited the University of Colorado's clinic in Denver over a two year period reported that 57% of the women, 48% of the heterosexual men and 33% of the homosexual men reported condom error. 4
Efficacy rates for condom use is generally reported for pregnancy. However, rates for sexually transmitted diseases vary by disease.
Condoms do not prevent transmission of the human papillomavirus, which is the leading cause of cervical cancer. 5.
Condoms may reduce risk of HIV infection by approximately 69%. 6.
Between The Lines, Michigan's statewide gay newspaper, reports that the risk of anal cancer increases by nearly 4,000% for men who have sex with men. They state that a condom only offers limited protection against developing anal cancer." 7.
HIGH ODDS OF 'ACCIDENT'
What do these efficacy rates mean in terms of human numbers?
Would you get into an automobile or a plane with these odds??????
Suppose, for example, that 20 million people used condoms for 'protection'.
By the best case of 3% failure rate, 600,000 people will experience failure.
How can we envision the immensity of this number? A typical arena for an NBA game holds about 20,000 people. It would take 30 arenas filled to capacity to hold the people in this sample of 20 million who failed to be 'safe' using a condom.
By the typical use rate of 14% failure, 2,800,000 people will be 'unpleasantly surprised'.
That's TWO MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND! Now we're talking about 140 arenas of 20,000 people.
SEDUCTION OF THE YOUNG
Many of us remember when sex was treated with respect and awe because it was the behavior that created new life.
Sex was treated with concern because of the serious diseases that were spread through this behavior.
Sex was not a toy to be experimented with and played with by children.
Sexuality was a sacred behavior to be saved and 'kept safe' for marriage and family.
However, in the last 30 years sexual behavior has been 'sold' to the young as a choice or an option of behavior. Condom companies have introduced their products within the school system with instructions as to its use.
In November of 1991, the New York City high schools inaugurated the first large-scale condom distribution program in the nation. Under a cloak of secrecy, condoms were made available to students, even if their parents objected. 8.
Donated by Carter-Wallace, maker of the Trojan brand of condom, and Schmid Laboratories, the maker of Ramses, 500 or 1,000 boxes of condoms were delivered to each school. A pamphlet explaining how to use the condom was included and teachers also provided instruction. Teachers were taught how to avoid discouraging students who wanted a condom, while reminding them that 'abstinence is a viable option'. 9.
By 1997, 418 public schools made condoms available to students. 10.
Now condoms come in different colors and different flavors!
Young people have been drawn into early and promiscuous sexual relationships.
In March of 2008, researchers at the federal Center for Disease Control and Prevention announced that 1 in 4 teen girls has at least one sexually transmitted disease. 11.
The virus that causes cervical cancer, the human papilloma virus, was the most common. Chlamydia, the second most common, is usually without symptoms and can cause infertility.
"America has the highest teen pregnancy rate for developed countries in the world, and has one of the highest teen STD rates as well...in recent years, 65% of STD infections were in people under the age of 24, and one out of four HIV infections were in people under the age of 22." 12.
STRAIGHT TALK
Let's talk straight to the children and youth. Let's tell it like it is.
It is the place of the public schools to teach the truth about behaviors to it's students.
It's the place of the schools to teach young people self-respect, self-control, and self-discipline rather than careless indulgence of sexual behaviors.
Abstinence is the only sure defense against unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Sexuality should be returned to the safety of marriage relationships, not handed to children as lollipops.
References:
1. Workshop Summary: Scientific Evidence on Condom Effectiveness for Sexually Transmitteds Disease (STD) Prevention. June 12-13,
2000. Hyatt Dulles Airport. Herndon, Virginia. Page 10.
National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases. National Institute of Health, Dept. of Health and Human Services.July, 20, 2001.
2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Facts about condoms and their use in prevcnting HIV infections and other STDs . CDC
HIV/AIDS Prevention: July 1993:1-3.
3. Workshop Summary: (see above) Page 10.
4. Condom Use and the Spread of Sexually Transmitted Dieseases. April 19th, 2008.
http://www.condomman.com/articles/index.php?tag=rising-std-rates.
5. Condoms' Effectiveness in Preventing Pregnancy, Std's at Center of Debate on Revising Package Labels. The Media Project. June
30,2005. http://www.themediaproject.com/news/itn/063005.htm.
6. Weller, SC. "A meta-analysis of condom effectiveness in reducing sexually transmitted HIV." Soc Sci Med. 1993 Jun:36(12):1635-44.
Comment in Soc Sci Med. 1994 Apr:38(8): 1169-70.
7. Glenn, Gary. "Compassionate Society Should Discourage Deadly Homosexual Behavior." American Family Association.
March 19, 2001. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1039280/posts.
8. Berger, Joseph. "Start of Condom Distribution Fails to Faze Many Students". November 24, 1991. The New York Times.
nytimes.com.
9. Ibid.
10. Advocates for Youth. Unpublished data from the School Condom Availability Clearinghouse. Washington DC: Advocates, 1997.
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/factsheet/fsschcon.htm.
11. The Associated Press. Tuesday, March 11, 2008. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23574940/print/1/displaymode/1098.
12. Safe Sex Education in the USA. March 25th, 2008. http://www.condomman.com/articles/index.php?tag=rising-std-rates.
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