Sunday, May 8, 2016

Reflections From My Mother

A Mother's Day Tribute
Although my mother, Elizabeth, passed away in 1999, she left behind books of poems and thoughts that she had written down through the years.  To honor her on this Mother's Day I will share some of her thoughtful poems.

Since we have had some torrential rains here in Texas recently, I will start with Mom's poem on this subject.

Rain

Quietly the raindrops fall,
They whisper soft and low,
Join forces on the sunbaked earth,
Make rivulets below.

Thunder moans o'er distant hill,
Tired dying plea,
Fret not, my love, the cleansing balm
Refreshes thee and me.

Brightness floods the morning sky,
See radiant moisture smile,
Come, explore for hidden jewels,
Let dripping grass beguile.

Sing, O earth, thy thirst is quenched,
The clouds that opened wide,
Have poured their liquid vapor out,
They heard you when you cried -

"Water, water, I must drink,
My vegetation wanes,
I cannot keep myself alive,
Without the gentle rains,"

Come, tender heart, in rain and sun,
Clasp hands and walk with me,
Watch rose and grain new life embrace,
Contented we shall be.


Mom and Dad retired to the family homestead in New England at the top of a hill overlooking a peaceful pond.  Mom writes of her fond memories of this lovely homestead.

New England

The seconds make the minutes,
The minutes make the hours.
The hours crowd and press me,
Work on, 'mid pelting showers.

Faint not, strong heart, nor falter,
The future brings a day,
The path you'll tread more slowly,
Scent flowers in the way.

The seconds make the minutes,
The minutes make the hours,
The hours filled with blessings,
In wooded vale and bowers.

In New England's peaceful haven,
Where roosters crow at dawn,
Anticipated pleasure
Is mine on velvet lawn.

I'll rest and watch the sunset,
Reflected in the pond,
Beyond the rugged stone fence,
My mem'ry holds so fond.

The seconds make the minutes,
The minutes make the hours,
The hours take me dreaming
Of fairy castle towers.


 In addition to raising her four children, Mom was a Director of Religious Education and a social worker.
She shares her faith in her poems.

They Searched For God 

They searched for God,
The men of old,
To ease their troubled minds,
They turned to classics and The Word,
The grace of God to find.

They saw corruption in the fold,
Could not condone man's greed.
They prayed, and pled, and prayed again.
God, what is mankind's need?

Why, don't you know? the Lord replied,
Man cannot live alone.
He must have me to guide his way,
And bring him safely home.

I've sent my Son,
He'll see you through.
He opened up the way,
He took man's burdens on himself,
Won resurrection day.

The men accepted God's new plan,
And learned to love the Lord.
Love is the bond that binds us close,
Fulfilling Holy Word.


The Devil Has Many Disguises

The devil has many disguises,
He enters God's sacred abode,
Taps the shoulder of many a Christian,
Follow me, on destruction's road.

He is clever and smooth in his manner,
He pretends to be helpful and kind,
In politeness he walks with God's children,
Leads astray the ones who are blind.

With subtle endeavor he wanders,
And shrewdly maneuvers his tricks,
His tongue is gracious with sweetness,
While his hand is throwing a brick.

There is only one way to combat him,
You must feel God's grace, know his peace,
Work with tender compassion, Christ's insight,
Love mankind and never cease.

Satan gnashes his teeth at God's children,
Imbued with power from above,
Courageously facing his evil,
With firmness they give him a shove--

That sends him reeling and rolling,
Away with his lying to men,
But vigilance constant is needed,
Or that devil will walk here again.


Prayer

I thank Thee, God, that through the years,
Amid the fervor of men's greed,
With steadfast burning zeal have come
Impassioned souls to meet their need.

Prolong Thy vision with our lives,
Mold Thou our hearts and mind,
Until we too, like those of old
True consecration find.


Thanks, Mom, for all the truths you shared through the years and for the written records you left behind for our well-being.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Parenting Classes For Young Mothers: A Growing Social Concern

CONCERNS ABOUT FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

Over the last 50 years changes in marriage and family patterns have challenged the traditional well-being of family relationships.  Historically the nuclear  family outlined marriage and family as a social institution with rights and responsibilities in regard to spouse, parent and child.  The family provided continuing support and nurture.  The modern era moved away from the institutional family to an emphasis on personal contract in which individuals decide their own terms of relationships.  Women's liberation, no-fault divorce laws, reproductive technologies, and the gay movement challenged lifelong monogamous and heterosexual marriage, creating fluid and flexible family structures.

Divorce Increases

In the early 1970's, no-fault divorce laws gave rise to a rapid increase in divorce.  Each year over a million new children under 18 experienced the divorce of their parents.  Following divorce children could become 30 or more percent poorer.  Custody arrangements create challenges for children and parents.  Twenty-five years following the divorce of their parents the adult children often continue to recall feelings of shock, loneliness and bewilderment.  Many became pessimistic about relationships and marriage, fearing a sudden loss.  1.

A Postmarriage Society

A trend toward a postmarriage society shifted the basis for childbearing and child rearing in America.  By 2011, 24 percent of children in the United States were born to cohabiting couples.  Another 20 percent of children were spending some years in a cohabiting household. 2.

Fatherless Families

Men were increasingly leaving or being left out of family relationships.  By 2014, 24 million children in America - one in three- were living in a biological father-absent home.  Children in father-absent homes were almost four times more likely to be poor.  Children from fatherless homes, by large majorities, were included among youth suicides, homeless and runaway children, rapists with anger problems, high school dropout, adolescents in chemical abuse centers, and juveniles in state operated institutions. 3.

Growing Need for Parenting Education

Many community, religious and national non-profit organizations focused attention on improving marriage and family relationships by offering parenting and relationship classes for couples and single parents.  However, despite efforts to increase the marriage rate, relationships continued to unravel.  By 2013, young adults in middle America, the sixty percent with a high school education but no college degree, were cycling through unstable relationships, hooking up, having babies, hooking up with someone else, and so on.  Sexuality was being viewed as an assumption of dating.  Many teens had already had several sex partners. 4.

This is a difficult foundation for forming strong families.  Young mothers who find themselves 'suddenly pregnant' are in a crisis of confusion, not knowing what is necessary to build strong relationships.  Reaching these new mothers and helping them develop a positive approach to supporting their children is essential. Those who come from broken and dysfunctional homes need guidance, encouragement, direction and a way to think about a positive family life for themselves and their children.

Parenting classes that offer information in positive communication, conflict resolution skills, childhood education information, health and wellness, nutrition, money management and participation in the community are increasingly necessary to help families survive and thrive in our increasingly complex society.  These classes are especially important as young women from unstable backgrounds become parents.

  It is essential that schools, community organizations and religious organizations step forward to offer parenting courses to encourage and support healthy family relationships.

In my blogs between February 21st and April 6th, 2016,  eight parenting sessions are presented that may be used to help parents, especially new, young mothers,  grow into strong, supportive and loving mentors for their children.   These sessions have been successfully used to guide young mothers who came to  a pregnancy care center for help.  The women responded well to the materials and expressed appreciation for the help.


References:
1.  Wallerstein, Judith S. Ph.D. and Julia M. Lewis, Ph.D. 2004. "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: Report of a 25-Year Study."   Psychoanalytic Psychology.  Vol. 21, No. 3:353-370.
2.  Institute for American Values.  2011.  Why Marriage Matters, Third Edition: Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences.  New York, NY.  pgs. 6-8, 46.
3.    Statistics on Father Absence.  National Fatherhood Initiative.  2014.  "The Father Factor".  http://www.fatherhood.org/media/consequences-of-father-absence-statistics.
       The Fatherhood Generation. 2014.  Statistics.           http://wwwthefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics..
4.    Lapp, Amber and David.  2013.  "Looking for Marriage in Middle America".  Propositions 11. New York, NY: Institute for American Values.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Keys to Healthy and Loving Family Relationships

Happy and healthy family relationships grow from decisions to work through all the problems of life in a constructive and loving way.

Homes are more than houses of walls and beams.  Homes are built with thoughtful caring concern where the family unit shares protection, support, sacrifice and love.
Careful planning turns a house into a home for the people who dwell there.

Eight sessions are presented each representing a parenting class to help parents grow into strong, supportive and loving mentors for their children.  The materials provided may be used to guide discussion and considerations for a 50-60 minute parenting session.

 The materials in these sessions were compiled and used by the author (Dr. Marjorie Coppock) over a three year period to guide young women who came to the Pregnancy Care Center (San Antonio).  The young women responded well to the materials presented and expressed appreciation for the help.

Each session has been entered as a separate blog in this blogsite. (www.concerningthis.blogspot.com)
The topic of each session and the date entered into the blogsite are listed below.

Session 1.  Skills of Listening and Communicating  - February 21, 2016

Session 2.   Solving Conflicts Constructively  - February 26, 2016

Session 3.  Wise Money Management - March 4, 2016

Session 4.  Parenting Your Children  - March 10, 2016

Session 5.  Passing on Family Traditions  - March 21, 2016

Session 6.  Creating Health and Wellness - March 27, 2016

Session 7.  Good Nutrition  - April 1, 2016

Session 8.  Attitudes of Gratitude - April 6, 2016

**************************

 Individuals, schools, churches, and community organizations are invited and encouraged to use these (or other) materials  to offer parenting sessions to help families solve the problems of  living together in a constructive and loving way.  

The PDF file and docx file of this series of eight parenting classes is also located on my website: www.wrestlingwithangels.com under the section 'Related Essays'.  It is entitled: "Turning the Keys to Healthy and Loving Family Relationships".  It can be downloaded at no cost. 

      

Keys to Healthy and Loving Family Relationships: Session 8, Attitudes of Gratitude

Happy and healthy family relationships grow from decisions to work through all the problems of life in a constructive and loving way.  The materials provided here may be used to guide discussion and consideration for a 50-60 minute parenting class to help parents grow into strong, supportive and loving mentors for their children.

CREATING MORE JOY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS  1. 

Develop an Asset Focus:
...the more you look at what's right instead of what's wrong,
Change actually occurs.  Impasses break up,
           New insights arise, and
               The energy begins to move in a positive direction.
Conversely, when you focus on what's wrong, you dig yourself into a bigger hole.

A Culture of Problems
We are trained in our culture to focus on problems:
           what is wrong,
                   what needs to be corrected.
We develop a negative mind set.

However, "When one generates mental negativity, one starts suffering;
Whenever one is free from negativity, one enjoys peace and harmony."
           -  S.N. Goenka

Gratitude
Gratitude is a matter of putting our attention on what is right in our lives,
and what is right about the people we live with.
The more we do it, the happier in love and life we will be.

You Can Choose What to Pay Attention To.
To fall in love - focus on everything wonderful about the person.
To fall out of love - pay attention to their flaws (we all have them).
We can choose to notice a person's good qualities (we all have them).

Taming Our Expectations
"An expectation, as they say, is a resentment waiting to happen."  - Jon Carroll
"Ah, expectations!  They do have a way of forming, but nothing is better at killing a sense of appreciation. That's because...they quickly launch us into resentment when our expectations go unmet.  When we cling too tightly to our expectations of how it should be,  we can easily overlook what is marvelous about what is." 2.

Receptivity is Key
"Gratitude is a feeling that is created when we become aware of what we are receiving.  We may have been receiving it all along,  but it is only when we become aware of what we have that we experience a sense of thankfulness...
Receptivity is an attitude that we choose - to allow life to enter us, move us, transform us.  It is enhanced by practices - for instance, of consciously taking in the world around you through your eyes, ears, and body - and by taking time.
It's hard to be receptive when you are going ninety miles an hour."  3.

Make a Gratitude Laundry List

"How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways." - Robert Browning

In family 'fights' it's easy to remember everything remotely related to build a case of how terrible the person is.  We keep lists!
It's embarrassing to admit that we don't keep an equivalent Gratitude List.
But if we can keep a list of negatives, we can also keep a positive one on hand.
"Make you list long and engrave it somewhere.  Then when times are tough and you've lost your perspective, you can bring it out and make a case for why it's worth going on." 4.

We are often guilty of treating the persons we love worse than we would a random stranger.  Don't forget to say "Please" and "Thank you" at home.


CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE  
            By Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism
                   He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
                   He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
                   He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
                   He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
                   He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
                   He learns to have confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
                   He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
                   He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
                    He learns to have faith,
If a child lives with approval,
                    He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
                    He learns to find love in the world.

Consider how this poem can be adapted to apply to all the family.
     People Learn What They Live.
If people live with criticism, they learn to condemn...
If people live with acceptance and friendship, they learn to find love.  


THANKS, Lovable, Livable, Laughable Lines.  5.

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

The best things you can give children, next to good habits, are good manners.

Our business in life is not to see through one another, it is to see one another through.

One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness - it is usually returned.

The most powerful single thing you can do to have influence over others is to smile at them.

No one stands as straight as when he stoops to help someone.

Thanksgiving comes but once a year, but reasons to give thanks are always here.


****************************************************************

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.

Finally,  brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things...
And the God of peace will be with you.    
                         Phillippians 4:4-9


References:
1. Ryan, M.J.  Attitudes of Gratitude in Love - Creating More Joy in Your Relationships.  New York: MJF Books. 2002.
2.  Ibid: pgs 69-70
3.  Ibid.  pg. 84
4.  Ibid.  pg 132
5.  Kapla, Marcia & David.  THANKS,  Lovable, Livable, Laughable Lines.  1989.

Friday, April 1, 2016

Keys to Healthy and Loving Family Relationships: Session 7, Good Nutrition

Happy and healthy family relationships grow from decisions to work through all the problems of life in a constructive and loving way.  The materials provided here may be used to guide discussion and considerations for a 50-60 minute parenting class to help parents grow into strong, supportive and loving mentors for their children.

GOOD NUTRITION IS THE FOUNDATION FOR A HEALTHY BODY.

Making good food choices enables you to build a healthy lifestyle so your family can grow and thrive.
Serving a variety of foods insures that your family receives the nutrients needed to keep bodies healthy. Think about what and how much good goes on your plate.  Over the day, include foods from all food groups: vegetables, fruits, whole grains, low-fat dairy products, and lean protein foods.

The United State Department of Agriculture Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion has developed a website with excellent resources for making good food choices - www.ChooseMyPlate.gov.  They have numerous tip sheets that can be downloaded to put on the refrigerator to remind you of good nutrition.

ChooseMyPlate - 10 tips to a Great Plate 1.

1.  Balance calories:  Find out how many calories YOU need for a day as a first step in managing your weight.  Go to www.ChooseMyPlate.gov to find you calorie level.  Being physically active helps you balance calories.

2.  Enjoy your food, but eat less:  Take time to fully enjoy your food as you eat it.  Eating too fast or when your attention is elsewhere may lead to eating too many calories.

3.  Avoid over sized portions: Use a smaller plate, bowl, and glass.  Portion out foods before you eat.  When eating out, choose a smaller size option, share a dish, or take home part of your meal.

4.  Foods to eat more often:  Eat more vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and fat-free or 1% milk and dairy products.  These foods have the nutrients you need for health - including potassium, calcium, vitamin D, and fiber.

5.  Make half your plate fruits and vegetables including tomatoes, sweet potatoes, and broccoli, along with other vegetables for your meals.  Add fruit to meals as a main dish, side dish or dessert.

6.  Switch to fat-free or low-fat (1%) milk:  They have the same amount of calcium and other essential nutrients as whole milk, but fewer calories and less saturated fat.

7.  Make half your grains whole grains:  To eat more whole grains, substitute a whole-grain product for a refined product - such as eating whole-wheat bread instead of white bread or brown rice instead of white rice.

8.  Foods to eat less often:  Cut back on foods high in solid fats, added sugars, and salt.  They include cakes, cookies, ice cream, candies, sweetened drinks, pizza, and fatty meats such as ribs, sausages, bacon and hot dogs.  Use these foods as occasional treats, not everyday foods.

9.  Compare sodium in foods:  Use the Nutrition Facts label to choose lower sodium versions of foods, especially in soup, bread, and frozen meals.  Select canned foods labeled 'low sodium', 'reduced sodium', or 'no salt added'.

10.  Drink water instead of sugary drinks:  Cut calories by drinking water or unsweetened beverages.  Soda, energy drinks, and sports drinks are a major  source of added sugar, and calories, in American diets.


PUT A RAINBOW OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES ON YOUR PLATE.
A variety of vitamins and minerals are essential for good health. 2.

                           Functions                            Sources 
Vitamin A           Good vision/ reproduction    Orange fruits/vegetables
                            Boosts immune system         Dark green leafy
                                                                        vegetables

Vitamin B1,         Making energy,                    Whole grains, fish,
B2, B6, B12,        Making red blood cells          eggs, poultry, meats,
Biotin, Niacin,      which carry oxygen                leafy green vegetables,
folic acid,,                                                         Dairy products,
Pantothenic acid                                                seafood, beans

Vitamin C             Helps body resist and          Citrus fruits, cantaloupe,
                             fight infection                        Strawberries, broccoli

Vitamin D              Helps to absorb calcium       Sunlight, fortified milk,
                             make strong bones/teeth       fish, egg yolks, liver

Vitamin E               Protects the heart, skin,        Whole grains, nuts,
                             nervous system                     leafy green vegetables

Vitamin K              Clots blood to stop             Dairy products, broccoli
                              in wounds                             leafy green vegetables

Calcium                 Grows bones/teeth               Dairy products, broccoli,
                                                                          turnip and mustard
                                                                          greens

Potassium               Blood pressure, nerves         Milk, orange juice,
                              muscle contractions               bananas, some cereals

Proteins                 Muscle development              Eggs, milk, meat, fish,
                              Food digestion                      beans, peas    


COUNT YOUR CALORIES AND WATCH YOUR WEIGHT.

Food labels printed on grocery packages provide valuable information to help plan healthy eating habits.  With your doctor's help, determine the number of calories needed each day for you and each family member to maintain a healthy body weight.  Food labels show calories as a percentage of a 2,000 calorie-a-day diet (the recommended number of calories for a 5'10" man to maintain a weight of 170 lbs.)
Most women and children will require fewer calories, while some men may require more or less to maintain a healthy weight.  Check the serving size of the calories listed on the label.   

Being overweight or obese causes serious health concerns, including cardiovascular disease, some cancers, and type 2 diabetes.  Unfortunately, being overweight has become the norm in the United States. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have defined overweight and obesity by using body weight and height to calculate a value called the body mass index (BMI).   A chart to help you determine your healthy weight using the BMI can be located on the internet.

If you need to lose weight it is necessary to develop a program that combines an increase in physical activity with a determined decrease in calorie intake.

FOCUS ON FRUITS.
Most fruits are low in fat, sodium and calories.  Keep a bowl of whole fruits on the table or in the refrigerator for snacking.  Buy fresh fruits in season when they are less expensive.  Be a good role model.  Set a good example for children by eating fruits every day with meals or as snacks.

KEEP MEALTIME PLEASANT.
The Fruit of the Spirit Is;
    Love, Joy,
             Peach, Patience,
                          Kindness, Goodness,
                                     Gentleness and Self-Control.
Against such there is no law.
                         Galatians 5:22

                       
References:

1. www.ChooseMyPlate.gov.  DG Tip Sheet No 1.  United States Department of Agriculture.
2.  Kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=Kid....,
     Carl E. Coppock.  Lose the Diet and Lose the Weight.  Tate Pub. 2012.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Keys to Healthy and Loving Family Relationships: Session 6. Creating Health and Wellness

Happy and healthy family relationships grow from decisions to work through all the problems of life in a constructive and loving way.  The materials provided here may be used to guide discussion and consideration for a 50-60 minute parenting class to help parents grow into strong, supportive and loving mentors for their children.

CLEANLINESS, EXERCISE, REST AND SLEEP, GOOD NUTRITION
Health and Wellness are the result of decisions to develop habits that will help our bodies, minds and spirits grow and prosper.

Cleanliness:
Keeping clean is a the first line of defense against germs.

Bathing, at least several times a week, helps to wash away germs and prevent them from spreading and causing illness.

Hand washing is especially important.  Research confirms that hand washing is an important behavior that determines who gets sick and who stays healthy.
Hand washing should be a MUST:
* before eating and cooking
* after using the bathroom
* after cleaning around the house
* after touching animals, including family pets
* before and after visiting or taking care of sick friends or relatives
* after blowing one's nose, coughing, or sneezing
* after being outside (playing, gardening, walking the dog).
The few seconds you spend at the sink will save you time in bed and trips to the doctor's office.
 Make frequent hand washing a habit.  1.

Tooth brushing is an important part of dental care.
Medical research shows that brushing teeth (at least twice a day) can prevent cavities and gum disease.  If teeth are not brushed correctly and frequently, saliva minerals cause tartar to develop and cause gum disease.

CLEAN THE HOUSE
Organize your cleaning schedule to keep your home fresh and sanitary.  Don't stress about the mess!
Learn how to keep it clean, room by room.

Each morning
- Make beds, wipe bathroom counters (with anti-bacterial spray or bleach and water (50/50).
- wash breakfast dishes or empty the dishwasher, and do a load of laundry.
Each evening
- Wash the dishes or load the dishwasher,
- wipe kitchen counters with spray (as above),
- take out trash,
-sweep or vacuum floors, and declutter with a basket (use a laundry basket to pick up things that are out of place, then put them away.) 2.

Cleaning Shortcuts from Heloise
* Wipe up spills in the refrigerator as soon as you notice them.  Toss anything that is beyond it's expiration date or is spoiled.
* Clean children's plastic toys with a towel moistened with rubbing alcohol.
* Presort laundry items into baskets.  Clear the lint filter after each dryer load.
* Dust and quick clean one room every day.

EXERCISE AND PHYSICAL FITNESS
Exercise is an important part of staying healthy.  Watching TV, playing video games or sitting in a chair will not develop the stamina needed for good health!
Adults need at least 30 minutes a day of physical activity.  Children need a lot of time to exercise and develop their muscles and bones.

*  People who live active lives feel better and live longer.
*  Exercise helps you maintain a Healthy weight.
*  Exercise can delay or prevent some diseases such as diabetes, some cancers and heart problems.

Find the right exercise for you and your family.  If it's something you enjoy, you are more likely to stay motivated (sports, walking, jogging, swimming, biking, etc.).

SLEEPING AND REST
Getting a good nights sleep is essential to good health.  Not getting enough sleep causes mental, emotional and physical fatigue.  Sleep deprivation can lead to irritability, an impaired immune system, symptoms similar to ADHD, and decreased  reaction time.  Children need more sleep in order to develop and function properly.
*  A newborn requires up to 18 hours a day.
*  A child one year old requires 14-18 hours.
*  A child two to five years old requires 11-15 hours.
*  A child six years through adolescence requires 9-11 hours.
*  Adults require 7-8 hours a day.

GOOD NUTRITION
Good food habits are the foundation for a healthy body.  Serve a variety of foods to insure that your family receives the nutrients needed to keep bodies healthy.  When it's snack time, give your family nutritious snacks such as: fruit or fruit juices, vegetables, cheese, crackers, or meat slices.

Eat food from each food group daily for a well-balanced diet.
Milk group - 2-3 servings. 
* Milk, yogurt and cheese are high in protein and calcium.   These are important vitamins and minerals needed to build strong bones and teeth.
Meat Group - 2-3 servings.
* Meat, poultry, fish and eggs provide protein, B vitamins, and minerals that are  essential to develop muscles, bones, and blood vessels.
Fruits and Vegetables Group - 5+ servings.
* These foods give you vitamins, minerals, and fiber with few calories.  Vitamin C helps resist infection and heal wounds, and Vitamin A helps to keep the digestive tract healthy.
Bread and Cereal Group - 6-11 servings. 
* These are high in B vitamins, iron and fiber to help the body obtain energy from food, use oxygen and metabolize.
Fat, Oils and Sweets Group - Servings from this group should be limited.

UNHEALTHY HABITS IMPORTANT TO BREAK

* Smoking - Half a million Americans die each year from smoking-related health conditions.  Smoking decreases lung capacity for healthy exercise.
* Being a worry wart -  If you have a problem, try to solve it.  If it can't be solved, forget it.  Worrying won't help.
* Overtime work - Overworked Americans have doubled in the last 20 years.  Quality time for yourself and your family its important for healthy relationships.
* Alcohol and drugs - They deaden the ability to think and decide clearly.

HEALTHY AND WHOLESOME SEXUALITY

We have been blessed with an abundance of simple pleasures:  sunshine and sunsets, brilliant flowers and cool water on a hot day.  Sexual relationships, however, are complex pleasures because they involve the life of another person in a holistic way: physical, mental, spiritual and emotional.  Above all, sexual behaviors produce new life.  Faith affirms that life is a sacred gift from God.

The United States Center for Disease Control and Prevention confirms that more than 65 million people in the USA have an incurable sexually transmitted infection (STI).  Many STI's result in tubal pregnancies and infertility, cancer, or severe damage to body organs.  Be aware of the consequences if you fail to limit your sexual partners to one mutually monogamous healthy relationship.  Protect your sexual health.

PREVENTIVE CARE REDUCES ILLNESS
While we are the first line of defense in protecting out health and the health of our families, community health clinics and family physicians are essential in helping us protect our health and wellness.
Annual visits to our doctor provide preventive care through immunizations and screening of cholesterol, blood pressure, weight, and hearing, vision, breast exams and other exams.    

Keep a file and record for each family member of dates of immunization, major illness and surgeries and the names of doctors who helped with each for future reference.  

CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART, O GOD
Have mercy on me, O God, according to thy steadfast love;
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,  and cleanse me from my sin!
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
             Psalms 51:1-2,7,10-12


References:
1. Kidshealth.org/PageManager.jsp?dn=Kid...
2.  www.organizeforfree.com/2012/05/09free-house-cleaning-printout/

Monday, March 21, 2016

Keys to Healthy and Loving Family Relationships: Session 5, Passing on Family Traditions

Happy and healthy family relationships grow from decisions to work through all the problems of life in a constructive and loving way.  The materials provided here may be used to guide discussion and considerations for a 50-60 minute parenting class to help parents grow into strong, supportive and loving mentors for their children.

BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED! 1.
Shared quality time is the soil out of which good families grow.  Loving relationships in family require time and commitment.
The support stem of the family flower is a love of God, prayer, devotions and worship.
The leaves and petals of the flower are the sharing times together:  Birthdays, Celebrations, :Holidays, Vacations, Picnics, Anniversaries, Recreation, Rituals, Traditions, Reunions, Hospitality, Mealtime, and Eating out together.

Loving Relationships Require Time 
It is essential that family members reserve time for one another if loving relationships are to be nourished.
It takes time to get acquainted with the thoughts and feelings of other members of the family.
The greatest destroyers of loving family relationships are over commitment and time pressures.
Being over committed with too many irons stresses feelings of caring and concern for one another.

Most families do not spend much time together listening to each other.
Most families do not spend much time together.

Each family would benefit from a weekly time together spent on and in quality projects/events/times that enrich, deepen, and bring joy to family living.   

FAMILY TRADITION -THIS IS THE WAY WE ALWAYS DO IT! 2.
Parents know that having established ways of doing things helps to simplify things.  Children want to know what to expect.  They enjoy repetition and like to look forward to the same story again and again, the same food, the same video.

Kids and adults like family traditions that develop a sense of togetherness and a sense of family relationship and meaning.

Special traditions may include:
* Reading a storybook before bedtime,
* Making pizza every Saturday night,
* Having a prayer before each meal,
* Remembering birthdays with a cake and a song.

Special activities can make holidays important for the family, such as:
* Having the extended family gather on Thanksgiving for a shared meal,
* Gathering with family and friends to make Tamales at Christmastime, or
* Having hot chocolate and popcorn as you decorate the tree together.

What traditions are important to your family?

A good tradition should include simple activities that focus on the value of the people involved.
Include children in the planning.  They may have ideas about special things they want to celebrate together.

A good tradition should be enjoyed.  This takes planning in advance to consider what is needed to make it happen in a positive way.

Taking photos or keeping scrapbooks of special family occasions can preserve shared memories of family celebrations.  Traditions make family life richer because of celebrating family experiences together.

THE MAGIC OF THE FAMILY MEAL! 3.
The Statistics are clear: kids who dine with their parents are healthier, happier and better students, which is why a dying tradition is coming. back.

There is something about a shared meal, not just at holidays, but on a regular basis that anchors a family together.  This is a time when the family members share wisdom and expectations, confess and forgive, and form  relationships with each other.
Eating a meal together teaches children to be a part of a group and a member of their culture.  When eating together is started young, it becomes a habit and a discipline that provides structure and good eating habits.

Keeping mealtime as pleasant as possible can be a challenge,  but developing positive habits early leads to a healthier life.
Studies show that the more often families eat together, the less likely kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, fall into destructive behaviors, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables and carry on a conversation.

While it may be difficult if parents are working and children are shuttling between school activities and TV shows, it's worth some inconvenience or compromise to make eating meals together a priority.
Including children in the meal preparation by setting a table, helping prepare some foods, and helping to clear off the table can give them a sense of importance in the family.

Mealtime should be a time when TV and other distracting electronic gadgets are turned off.
Beginning the meal with a blessing of thanksgiving can help children and the whole family grow together in appreciation for God's care and for each other.

FAMILY REUNION - FUN, GAMES AND MEMORIES OF THE GRAND OLD TIMES. 4.
Keeping in touch with far-flung members of a family requires planning family reunions so children and parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins can come together to share the important activities in their lives.
Family reunions are a time for meals together, playing games together, sharing memories of good times and passing on family traditions that are special.

A reunion can consist of an afternoon picnic, a weekend retreat, or a week camping together in a park.  Family reunions become events to look forward to.

Tips for organizing a successful family gathering include:
*  Plan ahead.  Set the date, even a year ahead, for family who have to travel.
*  Share the work.  A lot of planning is required.  Cook cooperatively.
*  Take it easy.  Plan time to do nothing and share each other's company.
*  Keep a record.  Take lots of pictures and keep a scrapbook of events.

WHAT FAMILY RECORDS SHOULD YOU KEEP?
It's important to have a record-keeping system that allows you to quickly put your hand on documents you might need.  Organize them into file folders.
*  Personal and family records:  Social security cards, Addresses and Phone numbers; Birth and marriage certificates, School diplomas, Report cards, Family history and Photographs.
*  Property documents:  Deed of house, condo, car ownership; Receipts of payments made on house, car or other purchases; Warranties of purchases.
*  Financial Records: Investment records; including IRA's, 401 K accounts, savings accounts, credit card records, loan papers.
*  Medical and Health Records: Immunizations, Doctor's names and phone numbers; dates of illnesses and surgeries, medicines used.
*  Tax Records:  Copy of tax reports submitted; Copy of personal checks written over the last 5-7 years.

LOVE IS THE FOUNDATION OF A HAPPY HOME.

Love is patient, is kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not rude, does not delight in evil, is not easily angered, is not proud, is not self-seeking, keeps no record of wrongs, rejoices with the truth.   1 Corinthians 13: 4-6

Instructing children early in the loving traditions of a religious and moral foundation that teaches positive behaviors and respect for all lays a foundation for a productive and happy life.    


References:
1.  Nutt, Grady.  Family Time: A Revolutionary Idea.  1976.
2. Suk, Letitia.  "This is the Way We Always Do It."  Focus on the Family. Nov. 2007:9.
3. Gibbs, Nancy.  "The Magic of the Family Meal."  Time. June 12, 2006:51-54.
4. Cegielski, Jennifer.  "A Grand Old Time."  Martha Stewart's Living.  June 2011:116-125.