Including Dad in Parenting: Fathers are Important Too

With the increase in out of wedlock births and divorce many men are failing to experience the important role of fatherhood and many children are growing up without a father for support, nurture and protection.

"A good society celebrates the ideal of the man who puts his family first." 1.

However our society is moving in the opposite direction. Never before in our country have so many children grown up without a father to protect and guide them. A caring father has traditionally provided economic, educational, moral, social, and psychological support for his family.

Today many fathers have abandoned their children or have been left out of the family experience.

Single motherhood is a long, hard journey for both mother and children. Single mothers have less time for each child and little time for themselves.

Children living without a father are 7 times more likely to experience poverty.

Fathers are important in helping a child grow emotionally and socially. Girls without a father often experience difficulty in developing a realistic view of men. Boys without a father fail to have a role model for responsible ways to relate in society as a man. Friends and gangs become their role models. 2.

Research studies have found that more than 70% of juveniles in reform institutions come from fatherless homes.

Our schools, churches and community centers need to provide learning opportunities to turn young men into responsible fathers for the support of their families and community.

Some women prefer to raise their children alone because the father is abusive, destructive and overbearing with the family. The social welfare system generally ignores the role of young fathers. However, helping young men learn the responsible, nurturing, and supportive roles of fatherhood is an essential need for our communities.

Fatherhood is the most important role for men because it helps them become pro-social.

An effective father accepts and affirms his children and helps them to grow in responsible and positive ways. An effective father supports and cares for his children's mother.

References:

1. Blankenhorn, David. Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem. Harper Perennial. 1995:5.

2. Gibbs, Nancy R. "Bringing Up Father." Time. Vol. 141, No.26. June 28, 1993:52-61.

Tragic Statistics! Wake up and smell the coffee!

On March 11, 2008 researchers at the federal Center for Disease Control announced that 1 in 4 teen girls has at least one sexually transmitted diseases (STD's). The virus that causes cervical cancer, the human papilloma virus, was the most common, affecting 18% of the 838 girls studied. Chlamydia, the second most common, affecting 4% of the sample, can cause infertility. Nearly half of black teens had one or more STD's, while 20% of white and Mexican American teens were affected. 1.

Sexual temptation is ripping the soul out of our American culture, our children's lives, and our families. As we are bombarded with sexual images, our culture is giving us a license to lust. Little is being said about the tragic consequences of behaviors once considered immoral, even sinful.

Casual sexual behaviors presented as acceptable by Hollywood, television, the press and even our universities and schools have become the dominant force in our society. Young people are being drawn into early and promiscuous sexual relationships.

CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING TRAGIC STATISTICS

Abortions:
In the wake of Roe v. Wade in 1973 more than 45 million abortions were performed in the United States by the year 2000. 2.
81% of abortions are to unmarried women
52% are to women younger than 25 years of age
19% are to teens

Out-of-wedlock births:
In 1960, 4% of births were to unmarried women. By 2005 out-of-wedlock births accounted for 37% of the babies born in the United States. 3.

Fatherless homes:
40% or more of children are being raised without a father present in the home. Fatherhood is the most socializing and civilizing role for men. With the increase in out-of-wedlock childbirth and the increase in divorce many men are being left out of this important social function. 4.

Deterioration of child well-being:
Key indicators point toward the deterioration of child well-being, including: rates of delinquency and crime; suicide; depresssion; growing number of children in poverty; and drug and alcohol abuse. The most fundamental factor contributing to the deteriorating well-being of children is the weakening of marriage as an institution. 5.

An epidemic of sexually trasmitted diseases has resulted from the increasing prevalence of casual and non-monogamous sexual behaviors.

3 million new cases of chlamydia occur annually in the U.S. Usually occurring without symptoms, chlamydia can lead to infertility, tubal pregnancies and increased risk of HIV infections. 6.

5.5 million people become infected with the human papilloma virus each year. Cervical cancer, penile cancer and anal cancer are attributed to this virus. 7.

Gonorrhea is the 2nd most commonly reported STD in the U.S. Gonorrhea rates for 15-19 year old women are the highest rates compared to other age or sex groups. These infections are a major cause of pelvic inflammatory disease which can lead to infertility, ectopic pregnancy, and chronic pelvic pain. 8.

Syphilis rates in the U.S. that had significantly decreased in the 1990's, increased between 2001 and 2006, primarily among men. Syphilis rates attributed to men having sex with men increased from 4% in 2000 to 62% in 2004. 9.
7
By 1998 AIDS was the fifth leading cause of death for people ages 25-44.
The first cases were reported in the U.S. in 1981 in the homosexual community. 77% of those affected with AIDS are male. Bisexual behaviors have transferred the disease to the heterosexual community. 10.
The cumulative estimated deaths of persons with AIDS in the U.S. in 2005 was 530,307.

A male teen entering the homosexual lifestyle today has a 50% chance of getting AIDS by the age of fifty. 11.

Shame On Us!

Our parents and grandparents would have made a public outcry to the sexual portrayals assaulting us. Today we are silent!
Our silence and failure to challenge destructive behaviors provide no defense or support for young people that could help them protect their sexuality for a loving family.
Shame on us!


References:

1. The Associated Press. Tuesday, March 11, 2008.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23574940/print/1/displaymode/1098.
2. Center for Disease Control - Abortion Surveillance - US, 2000.
3. Associated Press. Nov. 21, 2006. MSNBC.com
4. David Blankenhorn. Fatherlessless in America. NY:Harper Perennial. 1996.
5. Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation. Council on Families. 1995.
6. Center for Disease Control. STD Prevention Press release. Dec. 5, 2000.
7. Ibid
8 . Center for Disease Control. STD Surveillance 2006. http.www.cdc.gov/STD/stats/syphilis.htm. Jan 2,
2008
9. Ibid
10. Center for Disease Control, April 2004; June 28, 2007.
11. Sheryl Gay Stolberg, "Gay Culture" : NYTimes 23, 1997, section 4, page 1.